Good Together
by snowyspemily
Summary: After giving up her first kiss to Alison and being horribly rejected, Emily is heartbroken and unsure if she ever wants to kiss anyone ever again . . . until someone changes her mind.
1. Fireworks

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and all characters belong to their respectful owners.**

Summary: After giving up her first kiss to Alison and being horribly rejected, Emily is heartbroken and unsure if she ever wants to kiss anyone ever again . . . until someone changes her mind.

Rating: T

_A/N: Hi, I'm back! Happy Holidays! :) So, here's my first real shot at Spemily. I've always been really scared to write them since I love them so much and didn't want to eff it up, but I've had this idea racing around my head since like August and I had to write it down. Ugh, I wish it was Christmas themed but sadly, it is not. Maybe next year? Anyways, here's some things you guys should keep in mind while reading this, because I changed it up a little:_

_1) Alison was Emily's first kiss  
>2) Spencer has never had her first kiss<br>3) Ben doesn't exist(yet?)  
>4) The locker room scene between Emison and the library scene are connected. Idk if they are actually connected on the show, but for the sake of the fic, they are.<em>

_I think that's all of the AUs here so enjoy, and I hope you like it :)_

* * *

><p>"<em>If I'm kissing you, it's because it's practice for the real thing."<em>

To say Emily was hurt would literally have been the biggest understatement. Of all the things Alison could have said to her, that cut the deepest. She was confused, devastated and an absolute wreck on the inside, but most of all, she was heart broken – horribly and painfully so.

All she had wanted to do was get the hell out of that locker room, but of course, nothing was that easy when it came to Alison. So, she reluctantly waited for the blonde to finish - like the loyal _puppy_ she'd always been – and when she drove Ali home and finally made it to her house, she collapsed into a heap on her bed –

And cried.

She cried over the fact that she actually believed that Alison could actually want her as much as she did and she sobbed over how dumb it was for her to actually fall in love with Alison DiLaurentis, of all people. She cried because no one deserved to get played by their first love, – especially not after their first kiss – but most of all, she cried because her worst fear had come true.

She was gay. She liked – _loved_ – a girl, and she'd never felt more alone or scared in her entire life. A funny little part of her had actually been convinced that being gay wouldn't be so bad, so long as someone – _Alison_ – loved her back.

God, now what was she supposed to do?

Well, she knew the answer to that; pretend like it never happened. It was the only way to get things back to normal. Secrets are what kept you close – Ali always said that – and Alison would never break her own rule . . . would she?

Emily sat upright in her bed and wiped away the tears that were still falling down her cheeks. Alison would never tell anybody about their kiss, would she? She couldn't, after all, she was just as involved as Emily was. She let herself be kissed. She definitely wouldn't sacrifice her own name for the sake of making fun of Emily.

A strong pang shot through Emily when she realized that Alison probably would have made fun of her if she had the chance. She grabbed a pillow from her bed and hugged it to her chest as sobs wracked her body.

She'd never wanted to disappear so much in her entire life.

The vibration on her nightstand made her jump almost off her bed. She wiped her eyes – though the tears came back as soon as she did so – and grabbed her phone, praying that it wasn't Alison but secretly hoping that it was. She opened up the message and was slightly relieved to read from who it was from.

It was Spencer.

_Sleepover tonight at my house. Are you coming? :)_

If she were being completely honest with herself, the last thing Emily wanted to do was go over to Spencer's house and pretend like her heart wasn't shattered and clinking around in her chest like broken glass. Then again, she could use the cheering up. Her friends always made her happy . . . well, Alison always made her happy. Geez, did every thought always have to come back to her? She felt like a broken record player.

Oh.

Oh, crap.

Alison.

If Spencer was having a sleepover, she'd definitely be there. Emily gnawed on her lip as she contemplated a reply that wouldn't sound too weird. If she rejected, she'd have to come up with a reason. Crying in her room all night didn't sound like the ideal way to spend the night, but she couldn't go over with Alison there, mocking her with her triumphant smirk and that knowing sparkle in her cerulean eyes. Why did she love that sparkle so much?

Emily took in a shaky sigh. Part of her actually kind of did want to go now. Maybe if she just . . . it wouldn't be a rejection if she . . .

_Is Alison going?_

It was a simple question. Spencer would tell her and then she could decide on whether she should go or not. If she wasn't going, then Emily would spend a night of fun with her friends in an attempt to distract herself from the horrible ache in her chest. If she was going . . . then she guessed she'd have to deal with the ache by herself.

All alone.

In her room.

All night.

Life _sucked_.

A reply was almost instant and Emily eagerly looked down at her screen. She didn't know what she was expecting exactly, but it was way better than what she was reading.

_Yeah, she's the one who suggested it. Why?_

Of course she would suggest a sleepover. For someone who was head over heels for the blonde, Emily sure could forget how cruel Alison was. She felt even dumber now, because of all people to pose the question to, she just had to ask Spencer Hastings – possibly the most curious and intuitive person she'd ever met. She couldn't hide from Spencer – she never could – and now the brunette wanted to know why she'd asked her question. This night could not possibly get worse.

Another vibration went through her phone and Emily groaned out loud at what it could possibly be. She sighed and looked down at her phone.

_Em, if she did something to you again, I'll call it off and tell Ali to go screw herself_.

The swimmer actually felt a small smile work it's way on to her face. Her injured heart did a little leap in her chest and she felt a little better than she had all day.

Spencer wasn't always easy to deal with – she did kind of talk a lot and she was way too competitive for her own good – but she did have a heart of gold. She was the only one who wasn't too scared to challenge Alison – over Emily, on some occasions – and Emily deeply admired Spencer for that. Hell knows she needed someone on her side.

She continued smiling as she looked down at the text and sighed. If she backed down, Ali and Spencer would probably fight, and that was never a good thing, for any of them. If she said yes, though, then she'd have to deal with Alison and her pretty pink lips spewing the worst kinds of secretive insults.

The answer?

_It's ok, Spence. I'll come over_.

She sighed and dropped her phone on to the bed before running her hand over her face. She had a bit of time before it turned dark outside, so she could just physically and mentally – and emotionally – prepare herself for what she would have to deal with tonight. At least her friends would be there. At least Spencer would be there.

She looked at her phone again and picked it up without much thought, opening up her messages again.

_Thank you, btw. You're a good friend._

She didn't think she'd ever told Spencer that before, she actually didn't think anyone had told Spencer that before, but it was true and she deserved to know that. She smiled when her phone vibrated and opened the message up.

_I'm always here if you need me :)_

Maybe the sleepover wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

><p>Emily Fields had never been more wrong about anything in her life.<p>

She'd had been the second one there – Hanna was the first – and things had gone fine. Hanna had started talking about how _The Catcher in the Rye_ was getting kind of annoying to read, to which Spencer started objecting profusely, though Emily knew for a fact that Spencer didn't like that book that much.

The argument ended with a _'Well, he's annoying and if I were his roommate, I would have punched him in the face, too'_ to which Spencer didn't reply because she actually agreed. Emily had smiled at her two friends' not too serious bickering. It was a nice distraction. And when Spencer caught her eye and smiled a smile that was just for her, she felt warm inside. Perhaps she could make it through tonight.

Aria came by a bit later and the argument about the book started up again, but Emily was full blown laughing now from the fight that broke out between Hanna and Aria. For once, Spencer was in the middle, neither liking the book as much as Aria, nor hating it as much as Hanna. It was a funny change, seeing Spencer stutter with what to say and who's side to take.

When the knock on the door came, however, the swimmer felt her stomach bottom out. She had glanced back at the door with nervous eyes and felt her palms start to sweat. Spencer had departed from the kitchen to go answer it, but Emily didn't miss the way Spencer looked back at her before she disappeared.

Surely enough, Spencer returned with the Ice Queen she was in love with. As if on cue, blue eyes trailed over to Emily and a smirk developed on her face as soon as she spotted her. Emily's throat went quite dry.

She could deal with this. This was not the end of the world. She could do this.

She watched the bewitching blonde walk over and lean over the island, mischievous smirk still in place. Her icy orbs never strayed from Emily's eyes.

"So, who wants to play truth or dare?"

Never mind, she couldn't do this. She so could not do this.

"Geez, Ali, take it easy. You just got here," Spencer countered, coming to stand beside Emily. Emily relaxed only slightly, but she was glad for Spencer's input. She looked at the brunette beside her and returned the smile she was given. It felt good having someone on her side.

When she turned back to Alison, the blonde was eyeing them strangely, but before Emily could read too much into it, the cerulean gaze was locked back onto her. The word 'predator' popped into Emily's mind and she inhaled sharply, because that made her the prey.

Thankfully, the blonde's gaze flickered away from her and back to Spencer with a challenging eyebrow raised.

"What's wrong, Spence? Afraid I'm going to dare you to go kiss Creepy Cavanaugh across the street?" Aria and Hanna erupted into a fit of giggles but Spencer simply glared back at Alison, accepting her challenge.

"I'm not afraid of anything. I just think you should cool it," Emily could feel the tension thickening between the two, and her stomach clenched strangely as she watched Alison's gaze continue to flicker between her and Spencer. She hoped the blonde didn't think she told Spencer anything. The last thing she wanted to do was make Alison angry, or get Spencer in trouble.

Alison leaned back from the counter and stood straight, still smiling. Emily just knew this wouldn't end well.

"Well, there's five of us. Aria, Hanna, wanna play?" The two girls in question looked at each other and shrugged.

"I don't mind," Aria answered nonchalantly while Hanna agreed with an eager nod. Emily almost frowned. They were never good with peer pressure. Then again, neither was she.

Alison's smile grew with her triumph, and then her attention settled back on Emily. The swimmer gulped.

"What about you, Em?" She was truly evil. Emily had figured it out at that moment. Alison was the epitome of doom because the blonde knew very well that Emily could never say no to her – not ever. She was being torn from the inside because she definitely did not, under any circumstances, want to play that damn game, but damn it, Alison had that hold on her with her beautiful, sparkling eyes and she just could not break free.

Until she felt the hand on her back.

Emily looked up at and met Spencer's calming gaze and small smile. She didn't realize how tense her body had been until she let herself relax with Spencer's touch. It helped – having Spencer's reassurance – but disagreeing with Alison did neither of them any good, despite the fact that Spencer loved doing it so much.

"Sure," Emily answered with a heavy sigh. She could feel Spencer deflate beside her, but at least her hand was still on her back. At least Spencer was still on her side.

Alison smiled triumphantly at Spencer and the brunette sighed.

"Let's go upstairs," Aria grinned and both she and Hanna started towards the stairs. Alison, however, backed away slowly from the two girls and smiled at them in that secretive way that just ignited nervousness. The two girls heard her start up the stairs, and that's when Emily finally let out the breath she'd been holding.

"You alright?" Spencer asked softly, sincerity marking her features as she watched Emily. Emily simply nodded and ran her hands down her face.

"I'm fine," She answered with a sigh and gave Spencer a small smile. "Thank you for being on my side," Spencer simply smiled back and nodded. She felt her hand fall from her back once she turned and started towards the staircase, ignoring the cold feeling the came over her, but Spencer's voice stopped her.

"Emily," The swimmer turned at the distress she heard in the girl's voice. The brunette, however, had her head pointed to the ground. She looked as if she was . . . struggling with her words. Emily was shocked. She'd never seen Spencer look so vulnerable before.

A panicked worry came over her as she waited for her friend to look up. When Spencer did finally look up, she was met with an expression that sent a chill through her. It was determination . . . and something else she just couldn't put her finger on.

"Alison, she . . . She doesn't own you, Emily," Spencer stated softly, her gaze never wavering as she watched Emily. "Please don't let her think that she does." Emily was overcome with that warm feeling again and she smiled at Spencer's sweet words. She had no idea how she ever could have thought that girl was cold. Had she known that this side of Spencer existed . . . Perhaps she would have paid a little less attention to Alison.

"Come on," Emily said with a smile, holding out her hand to Spencer. Spencer smiled back and approached her. Once she took her hand, Emily felt that same hopefulness that she encountered in her bedroom after Spencer's text. As she walked up the stairs with Spencer's hand in hers, she suddenly began to wonder if one day, Spencer's words could be true.

* * *

><p>"Ali, truth or dare?"<p>

"Hmm . . . Truth,"

"You think Sean might ask me out this year?"

"Hanna!"

"What, it's an actual question!" The girls all burst out laughing except for Hanna, who was still nervously awaiting a real answer from Alison. The night was going a lot better than Emily had originally anticipated after accepting the game. There were no risky questions thrown at her or any devious ploys that she could walk in to. However, her uneasiness did not leave her completely thanks to Alison's periodic glance and smirk towards her.

"You might have a shot," Alison answered nonchalantly, and Emily hated herself for swooning slightly at her cool demeanor. Then, like clockwork, Alison glanced back to Emily. Except this time, her gaze lingered. And it wasn't sweet.

"Aria," Alison started, turning away from Emily's nervous eyes. "Truth or dare?"

"Definitely truth. I am not calling the pizzeria and ordering another pizza for Mona," A few giggles resounded throughout the room, but Emily was still nervous. And she had every right to be. Alison's grin reminded Emily of someone who looked like they were going to get away with murder.

"Which one of us do you think would be gay?" Emily's heart stopped for a moment. It literally stopped, or at least it skipped a beat, because her chest clenched tightly and she felt like there was a waterfall in her ears. She clenched her hands into fists and tried to remember how to breathe, but shock and fear were choking the oxygen out of her lungs.

This was it. This was what Alison had been building up to the entire night. She was going to humiliate her in front of all her friends, and they were all going to be disgusted and leave her. This was worse than heartbreak.

This was absolute death.

"Hmm," She faintly heard Aria hum and tried to act normal, but her stomach was so knotted up she thought she was going to puke, and she was sure she was sweating like a sinner in church. She looked around their circle on the floor of Spencer's room, avoiding Alison's eyes, and found Spencer staring worriedly at her. She wanted to smile or do something to assure her friend that nothing was wrong, but she could not for the life of her make a movement because _everything_ was wrong. And it was about to get worse.

"Well, if I'm going to be honest, I'm gonna have to go with . . . And no offense here, by the way," The suspense nearly gave Emily a heart attack right then and there, but she had to stick through it. She had to fight to the end. Aria smiled playfully and nodded. "I'm going to have to say Spencer."

"What?!" Hanna threw her head back and howled with laughter at Spencer's outburst and Aria followed right after. Emily felt the largest wave of relief wash over her, so large that she actually sighed. She felt lightheaded suddenly and realized she must have been holding her breath. She could still hear her heart pumping in her ears.

"I'm sorry, Spence," Aria giggled once she mostly recovered. "But I had to tell the truth. I mean, you hardly ever have crushes on boys. It kind of makes a girl wonder," Spencer scoffed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"The boys in Rosewood are lame," Spencer defended hotly.

"Not all the boys," Hanna murmured quietly.

"And I don't see you gushing about your crush. Who is it anyways?"

"Holden Caulfield," Hanna giggled and was promptly given a pillow to the face by the girl beside her. The room erupted with laughter again, and Emily finally started to relax. However, when she looked up and saw Alison smirking at her, her blood ran cold.

This was all a game to Ali. What she had just done was only an example of what she could do, Emily realized. Alison could toy with this anyway she wanted, and the swimmer would be helpless to stop it.

The room suddenly felt a lot smaller with Alison's smoldering gaze mocking her. She needed to get out.

"I'm going to get some water," Emily murmured, standing up quickly and staggering slightly because of it. In an instant, Spencer was up, too.

"You want me to come with?" The worried tone in Spencer's voice didn't go unnoticed by Emily, but she had no time to answer before Alison was back to her challenging self.

"I think she knows where the fridge is, unless you want to go for other reasons," Alison remarked snidely with a smirk while Hanna giggled.

"Maybe Spencer really is gay," Hanna whispered to Aria.

"Shut up," Spencer bit back at Hanna, but mostly to Alison. Emily, however, couldn't take all the mentions of gay anymore and swiftly left the room. She rushed down the stairs and paced around the Hastings' living room, trying to get her bearings back.

Coming here was a mistake. She should have never agreed to it. She knew Alison wasn't ever going to let it go, but she came anyways because she was a hopeful idiot and too damn trusting. God, when was she going to learn?

Emily felt a wave of exhaustion go through her and she made her way to the couch. She sat down and rested her face in her hands.

_Why couldn't she just like someone else? _

_Why couldn't she just be straight?_

_Why couldn't she just be normal?_

Emily didn't realize she had started to tear up until she felt her hands dampen. She wiped her face and willed herself to stop, but she never was good at obeying herself.

"Hey," She looked up and surely enough, Spencer was there with a soft but worried expression as she watched Emily from her place on the stairs.

"Hi," Emily murmured, sniffling and rubbing away any remnants of tears. Spencer came down the rest of the way and was eventually seated next to Emily, but not near enough to touch her. Emily was glad for that, she really did need the space.

"I guess I shouldn't ask you if you're okay," Spencer said softly, and Emily responded with a breathy laugh before shaking her head.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I shouldn't have come tonight. It was a mistake," Emily whispered more to herself than to her friend, but Spencer nodded either way.

"I understand," She replied and Emily smiled sadly because there was no way that she could understand. The swimmer stared at her hands, not knowing what else to say nor how she was ever going to make it up those stairs. Maybe she could tell Spencer she wasn't feeling well – there was no doubt the brunette wouldn't believe her after what she just saw. But if she left, it would just be another victory for Alison.

Life _really_ sucked.

More silence passed between them and Emily had finally decided on her excuse when she felt a warm hand envelope her own. She stared down at her hand linked with Spencer's and her stomach felt lighter. Wow, she really was gay.

"Em, I know that you and I haven't always been close," Spencer whispered, her thumb rubbing circles on the back of Emily's hand. It was such a nice, calming gesture that Emily actually sighed lightly. "But I do still care about you . . . And you should know, if you ever need someone to talk to, about anything, you can talk to me. I'm here for you,"

Spencer's words were some of the nicest and most trusting words Emily had ever heard, and mixed together with the soothing movements of Spencer's thumb and the sincere way Emily knew she was looking at her without even lifting her head to check, she couldn't help it. She started to talk.

"Has anything just ever been so bad that you thought it was going to break you?" She whispered sadly, staring at how nicely her hand and Spencer's fit together.

"Yeah, I'm familiar with the feeling," Spencer answered with a smile and Emily smiled a little too. She was glad Spencer was there for her, but she was at a complete loss at how to express how she was feeling. Then, it struck her.

"How was your first kiss Spencer?" She asked quietly, and a small silence passed between them before the other brunette used her other hand to cradle Emily's hand in both of hers. Another eruption of warmth pooled in the swimmer's stomach at the action.

"I'm still waiting for it to happen," Spencer murmured, her attention completely on Emily's hand. Emily hummed softly and smiled sadly.

"Well, mine didn't go too well," She whispered before taking in a shaky breath. "I kissed someone who didn't deserve it, and now I kind of wish I'd never kissed them . . . Or anyone," More silence passed between them, and Emily finally chanced a look at Spencer.

She had that look on her face again. That determination mixed with something she just couldn't put her finger on. She always did like it when Spencer looked determined. The way her brow furrowed and her face simply told you that she wasn't afraid to go after what she wanted. Spencer's confidence always left her in awe. She really did love that about the other girl.

"Well," Spencer started with a sigh, finally looking up to meet Emily's eyes. It seemed that right at that second, Emily realized how close Spencer's face had gotten to her own. What shocked her even more was that she didn't mind it, at all.

"If you want . . ." Spencer was speaking slowly now, and Emily could finally tell what the other emotion was besides determination. It was fear. She'd never seen it on Spencer Hastings before, but she definitely recognized the look. It was the same look she probably had before she kissed Alison.

"You can have mine," Spencer whispered the last part, staring so intensely at Emily that the swimmer had completely forgotten what they were talking about. By the time she remembered what the topic was, a pair of soft lips were flush against her own.

To say she was surprised was an understatement. Never in a billion years did she think that Spencer Hastings – her friend, the brainiac of their year – would ever press her lips against her own. She was totally unprepared and blindsided, but what really got her was that she liked it. She really liked it. So much so that she found her eyes closing and pressing back the slightest bit against Spencer's lips.

It was nothing compared to the kiss with Alison. That was barely over a peck. This was . . . Well, this was a kiss. She'd never imagined Spencer's lips to be so soft and nice – Hell, she never imagined Spencer's lips at all, but part of her wished she had now.

All too soon, she felt Spencer begin to pull away and a needy desire came over her to keep the kiss going, so she did. With the hand that wasn't in Spencer's, she reached up and cupped Spencer's face and tilted her head just slightly so she could kiss her better and then it happened.

Fireworks.

She didn't think stuff like that happened in real life but wow, her whole entire being felt like the Fourth of July and she was seeing what looked like stars behind her eyes and all she knew was that she really, _really_ didn't want to stop kissing Spencer Hastings.

And it seemed like Spencer Hastings didn't want to stop kissing her, either, if the way her lips pressed eagerly against her own were any indication.

Unfortunately, oxygen soon became a problem, so with a final peck, Spencer pulled away and smiled happily at Emily. All Emily could do was blink and try to process how a kiss could make someone feel like flying. It seemed that she was staring at Spencer for a little too long and the brunette laughed a little.

"Well, now at least you can say you've had a good kiss," Spencer said, her smile widening. Emily tried to ignore the slight change in tone of Spencer's voice and how it sent chills through her and licked her lips. They tasted like strawberry. They tasted like Spencer.

Finally, Emily seemed to gain some sort of brain activity, enough to smile back at Spencer appreciatively for the kiss.

"Thank you," She said softly and Spencer laughed and looked back down at their hands.

"Trust me, it was my pleasure," Emily giggled and looked down at their hands as well. She was right.

They did look good together.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Should I keep going?_


	2. Imagine Me & You

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and all characters belong to their respectful owners.**

Summary: Emily's first kiss was the opposite of what she'd hoped it would be, but her second kiss was everything she could have dreamed of. So, what will her third kiss be like?

Rating: **Strong T**(not really)

_A/N: I'm going to just start off bye sayiNG OH MY GOD. OH. MY. GOD. I WAS EXPECTING FOUR, MAYBE FIVE REVIEWS BUT SIXTEEN?! ONE SIX?! 16?! I WAS SO HAPPY THAT I HAVE SHOWN EVERY REVIEW I HAVE GOTTEN TO MY BEST FRIEND. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH, YOUR WORDS AND RESPONSES WERE THE BEST CHRISTMAS/BIRTHDAY PRESENT I COULD HAVE EVER GOTTEN. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU :)!_

_Okay, back to normal. I'm just really happy about the turn out for this fic, so much so that I've been thinking of how I'm going to keep it going. I'm going to go ahead and say that it'll stay in the past for maybe three more chapters before moving on but I'm not entirely sure._

_Anyways, this chapter is totally inspired by the song Sleeping with a Friend by Neon Trees. You'll see why when you get to the end ;) No real NSFW warning is needed here because there's no smut, but I mentioned **Strong T **at the top for reasons you will see if you choose to read. Again, THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED AND FAVORITED AND READ THIS STORY. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS TO ME :) ENJOY CHAPTER TWO!_

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><p>Emily started spending a lot of her time at the pool, deciding after that night, she needed space. Her intention wasn't to distance herself from her friends – mostly, anyways – but she had started to feel a little . . . conflicted after what had happened.<p>

One week. Seven days. Almost one hundred sixty eight hours – she actually looked that up – since she and Spencer had shared that mind blowing, overwhelming, absolutely wonderful kiss. Nothing had ever made her feel like _that_ – she'd hoped kissing Alison would, but that was just a huge flop – and it both thrilled and terrified the crap out of her. So when things scared her, she tended to take time to herself to clear things up, which was why she hadn't talked to any of her friends since that night.

Well, almost.

Of course, she got the occasional text from Aria, asking if she wanted to come over and watch a movie or sometimes Hanna would text and ask if she wanted to go get a smoothie or something. Alison, who saw nothing wrong with what had occurred between them, usually invited her to parties or asked if she wanted to go to Philly for an even better party over there. She never accepted though, not only because she didn't really want to see Alison – her wound was still raw after the sleepover, and she didn't trust Ali not to tease her about the kiss – but all the girls would be there. _Spencer_ would be there. She wasn't ready to face the brunette or deal with the flip her stomach would do every time she saw her.

So, for the entire week, Emily swam at the pool and practiced for the upcoming season – which wasn't for another few months, but practice did make perfect (at least, that's what she told herself as an excuse). Swimming calmed her and helped her think, that's why she loved it so much. She had gone there a lot to try to make herself forget about her crush on Alison, but more often than not, she went there to think about her without having to fake a smile at a party as she stared at the blonde. It was relaxing and it always helped her mind flow.

However, now it was slightly different. Her thoughts would start off with Alison – deep blue eyes, beautiful blonde hair, and mischievous smirk – and then they would transform the more laps she did. Alison's hair would turn into a darker shade, her eyes would morph into a warm brown, and her smirk would transform into a confident, but sweet smile.

Emily would have been lying to herself if she said that she didn't think about Spencer. The brunette was starting to become all she thought about, and she wasn't sure if she was upset about that. She'd also be lying if she said she didn't smile to herself whenever she thought about Spencer studying – how her eyebrows would furrow in concentration as she read – or her wardrobe – she didn't think anyone could look so cute in a blazer – or anything that made Spencer so . . . Spencer.

She had started to wonder if these feelings had always been there, if maybe they had just been hiding under her blind admiration of Alison. Then she had gotten a little scared because what if Hanna kissed her and then she started developing feelings for her, or even Aria? The swimmer wasn't quite sure if she could have imagined herself with Spencer before the sleepover, but all she could do now was picture herself with the brunette – and she really liked what her mind came up with.

Then, there was the whole gay thing again. Going from liking – _loving_ – Alison to sort of, maybe, possibly having a crush on Spencer definitely proved her fear to be true, and that should have scared her but she was finding it difficult to find something wrong when Spencer was constantly in her thoughts. It should have bothered her how easily it was to hold Spencer's hand and to imagine them being a little more than just friends, but the more she thought about it, the more she hoped one of her thoughts would become a reality.

All in all, however, she really just hoped that whatever it was that was going on with her wouldn't end in heartbreak . . . again.

Sadly, her feelings were the only things that had changed. Her last attempt at being brave and impulsive had resulted in complete failure, and successfully crushed any hope of repeating any action like that. So yes, she hadn't talked to Spencer since that night and yes, she was worried about sending Spencer the wrong signal, but how could she send the wrong signal when she wasn't even sure what signal she wanted to send, anyways?

Did she want to kiss Spencer again? Hell freakin' yes.

Did that mean that she wanted to come out? Hell freakin' no.

Could you kiss a female friend without coming out of the closet? Well, she'd done it twice now, and as far she knew, that wasn't exactly a confession.

Could you continue to kiss a female friend without coming out of the closet? See, that's where things got tricky.

She definitely missed Spencer, that much was obvious to her, but she honestly had no idea how to go about talking to her after the sleepover. Would they just go back to normal? The idea kind of bothered her – she really liked kissing Spencer – but friendship came first and she did care about the brunette immensely.

She didn't have to wait long for a sign, though. It came to her with a vibration and a flash on her phone screen. She'd gotten a text while driving home from the pool, exactly one week from the sleepover, and when she glanced down and saw the name, her heart jumped into her throat.

Emily was a very responsible driver, though, and she never texted and drove at the same time, but the desire to read the text was killing her, so, as any responsible driver would do, she pulled over to read the message. It was only nine words long, but her heart was pounding with every word her eyes looked over and she actually found herself smiling at the end of it.

_Hey, wanna come over and watch a movie tonight?_

One week. It had been one whole week since she kissed Spencer, and now the girl wanted to hang out tonight. There were signs flashing in her mind about all the things this could mean, but she couldn't find one reason why she didn't want to go.

She guessed it was because she did want to go.

She checked the time and saw that it was already almost six – geez, had she really been at the pool for that long? If she went home and showered, it'd probably be about six thirty. That was about the time night started, right? She gnawed on her bottom lip as she typed out a reply.

_I'd love to :)_

She winced and deleted the message. Way too much.

_Uh okay._

She held the delete button and sighed. She didn't want to sound like a jerk, either.

_Sounds great :)_

That was a little better. That familiar warm feeling washed over Emily whenever she thought about the brunette and the swimmer found herself almost grinning. She thought about how stupid she must have looked right now, clutching her phone and smiling like a moron in a car outside a house she didn't live in, but she couldn't find one reason to care about that either.

Then, just as suddenly as the happiness had been there, a look of realization and horror passed over her features.

_So who's coming tonight?_

How could she forget that she had other friends, or more importantly, Alison? Emily had literally been avoiding them all week, how would she deal with their inquiry? Sure, she could tell them the truth, that'd she been at the pool, but then they would ask _why_ when she wasn't even sure herself. On top of that, she didn't know if she could deal with Alison smothering her with her constant teasing and tortuous looks. As much as she wanted to see Spencer – which was surprisingly a lot – she didn't think she could take another sleepover.

Her phone vibrated in her hands and she quickly opened up the message.

_No one. Alison wanted to go to a carnival in Philly and Aria and Hanna went along with it. I said I didn't want to and they said you've been M.I.A. so I thought maybe you'd like to take a break from being missing ;)_

Emily laughed a little as she began to relax. The smiley at the end had her stomach doing those flips again, but she actually started to like them. The fact that her three other friends wouldn't be there both calmed her and made her nervous, but it wasn't a bad nervous . . . It was a good one. A nervous excited kind of feeling. _Really_ excited.

Another vibration came while she was contemplating her reply and her heart practically floated away when she read the words.

_Is that okay?_

It was a lot more than okay.

_It's super okay :)_

She sent the message without thinking and nearly slapped herself across the face. _Super okay? What are you, five!?_ Emily was almost one hundred percent sure she was blushing, and now she looked like a frowning idiot, clutching her phone and blushing, in a car outside a house she didn't live in. Maybe she should start driving now.

She groaned when she felt another vibration and reluctantly opened up the text.

_Lol great, see you soon :)_

And there went her heart again. She figured this must've been what balloons felt like, light and airy and all.

She smiled softly at her phone and placed it back in the passenger seat. Then, making sure to check her mirrors before pulling out of the curb she had parked beside, she continued on her way home.

A night with Spencer Hastings. Just Spencer Hastings.

It sounded like a nightmare for anyone who actually knew Spencer Hastings, but her knee was bouncing and she was tapping her fingers on her wheel and she found herself going slightly over the speed limit just to get home faster to get to Spencer faster because she could not think of anything she wanted to do more than spend the night with Spencer Hastings.

Well, maybe one thing, but maybe she'd get a chance to do that again later.

* * *

><p>"How did I let you talk me into watching this horrible movie?" Emily groaned from behind the pillow she was clutching to her chest.<p>

"Come on, it hasn't even been that scary," Spencer insisted with a laugh before she popped a few more pieces of popcorn into her mouth. Emily gaped at her, trying to ignore the images on the screen.

"Are we watching the same movie?" Spencer looked over to her petrified friend and grinned, in turn making Emily's heart race a little faster than it already was.

The swimmer had arrived at Spencer's house at around six -fifteen, after she went home and showered. She really didn't want to seem too eager, even though she was, but she honestly didn't think she could wait half an hour more to head over to Spencer's house.

That, and the more time she had with the other brunette, the better for her.

What she imagined would be an awkward evening was the complete opposite. As soon as she walked through the door, Spencer had started talking to her as if it were any normal day. She was extremely glad to hear the other girl's voice and even more glad to hear her speak without any weird tension in her words. Pretty soon, she found herself smiling while Spencer complained about her American Lit homework while making popcorn to watch a movie. It was safe to say that she missed her friend a lot more than she could have imagined.

She knew, however, that Spencer could talk her way into getting whatever she wanted – the brunette was practically known for that talent – so Emily shouldn't have been surprised when she agreed to watching _One Missed Call_, even though she despised scary movies. But Spencer was smiling at her and looking so damn adorable and between the trembling in her stomach and the fluttering in her heart, she could hardly say no.

And now, she was paying for it.

So there she was, curled up on the couch in terror while Spencer was on the other side, eating popcorn and watching the movie as if it were as boring as the news. She practically had a death grip on the pillow, and while it was doing a pretty decent job of shielding her from the horrors on screen, she kind of wished she had the guts to get closer to Spencer.

She'd seen enough movies to know how these kind of things work. Guys used horror movies to scare girls bad enough that they go to them for comfort. Not that that applied to her – though, she hoped it did – but she guessed that she was the girl in that metaphor, and she was doing a really good job. She could hardly speak besides a whine here and there. If she could just move an inch –

A loud bang sounded on screen followed by the main character being pulled off her feet and dragged across the floor. Emily jumped and put the pillow over her face. She honestly did not think she could make it to the end.

"Spencer . . ." She whined pathetically, and she would have been so disappointed in herself for sounding like such a whimp if she weren't so scared. Spencer looked over to the swimmer and her face softened with a look Emily couldn't quite decipher. She watched the brunette put the bowl of popcorn on the table in front of them and pause the movie.

"We can change the movie if you want, Em. I know how much you hate scary movies," Spencer offered with a little smirk that practically sent Emily's heart on fire. For a moment, she wondered why Spencer would put her through that torture if she knew her phobia and thought, with an excited flip of her stomach, that she may have been right about the metaphor. But this was Spencer, her best friend – _just_ her best friend. No matter how much she suddenly seemed to want it, nothing was going to happen tonight.

"It's okay," Emily squeaked quietly, glancing quickly back at the screen and looking away when she saw the creepy ghosts staring as the protagonist was dragged away. The movement didn't go unnoticed by Spencer and a small smile appeared on the girl's face before she patted the space beside her.

"Do you at least want to move a little closer?" Spencer bit her lip and tried not to smile at how quickly the swimmer's mood changed, just as Emily tried to hide her excitement at the option of being closer to the bookworm.

"Okay," Emily murmured and scooted closer to other girl. As soon as their thighs came in contact, – she was suddenly very glad to have worn shorts, since Spencer was wearing them, too – electricity shot up her body and she had to remind herself to breathe normally and not like she'd just run three miles. She hoped that Spencer wasn't watching her or noticed how much the skin to skin contact was affecting her.

Emily chanced a glance at the brunette beside her and realized that the girl was looking down at where their thighs connected. She wondered suddenly if maybe the other girl had felt it too. Of course, the rational part of her mind was telling her there was no way she felt the same, but the wishful part was hoping that she did.

_Who are you kidding? She's probably freaked out._

_Shut up_.

"You alright?" Spencer's attention had drifted back to the other girl's face and Emily had forgotten what English was for a second when her eyes made contact with warm chocolate irises.

"Y –Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Emily mentally berated herself for the slight falter but was glad that she was mostly steady. Spencer's gaze dipped down and for a second, the swimmer thought the girl was actually checking her out until she spoke.

"You're clutching that pillow harder than when you were watching the movie," Spencer said with a little laugh and Emily was starting to get upset at how sensitive she was to everything to other girl did. She didn't think crushes could be this bad.

"Sorry," She answered weakly with a small smile and loosened her grip on the pillow. She expected Spencer to start the movie again now and she mentally steeled herself for more horrifying images, but then her hand was being taken away from the pillow and held by another soft hand.

"Relax," The brunette murmured, smiling softly at the swimmer. Emily could have died from how fast her heart was pounding. "It's just a movie, all Hollywood and make-up," Spencer gave her hand a reassuring squeeze and the butterflies in Emily's stomach doubled.

"I know," Emily said with a nod and smiled a little. "Thanks," Spencer smiled back at her, and Emily was sure she imagined her friend's eyes dropping to her lips. Before she could even check again, the brunette was already reaching for the remote to play the movie, but Spencer never pulled her hand away.

They stayed like that for the rest of the movie, much to Emily's reluctant delight. Spencer casually continued to eat the popcorn, and of course, offer some to Emily, who denied any in favor of clutching the pillow and hiding her face behind it. Every time a scene was too scary, however, the brunette would give the girl's hand a reassuring squeeze and Emily would completely forget about the movie and remember that she was holding Spencer's hand.

At one point, Emily felt bold enough to toss the pillow aside when more than two minutes had gone by without any horrifying activity. Her decision was immediately regretted, however, when some horrifying, charcoal colored thing started crawling after the main character. The swimmer squeaked and hid behind Spencer's arm in an attempt to hide herself from the traumatizing images. The movie was long forgotten, however, when she inhaled the sweet smell of violets that was totally and completely Spencer Hastings. She stayed there for a while, breathing in the heavenly scent, until she realized how damn creepy she was being and pulled away. Spencer looked over to her and flashed her a playful smile, and Emily hoped to God that she didn't realize what she'd just been doing.

The movie finished on a weird – and terrifying – conclusion, in Emily's opinion, but she was glad that it was over. She despised horror movies, and yet, she couldn't really tell herself that she disliked this one so much. She would have loved to have said that she was getting over her fear, but she knew the real reason for her small change of heart.

It was still fun to pretend, though.

"Okay, let me not torture you anymore," Spencer remarked with a grin and popped out the disc with the remote. She turned completely to the girl beside her and held her hand with both hands. "So what do you wanna watch, now?" The brunette asked with a soft smile, and Emily was overcome with the same feeling as the night of the sleepover – that warm, fuzzy, tingling feeling that made everything feel intensified. She looked down at their joined hands, and it was just as she expected.

They still looked really good together.

"I dunno," The swimmer shrugged, offering her own smile. She really needed to get it together. Reluctantly, very _very_ reluctantly, she pulled her hand out of Spencer's grasp and reached over to the DVD cases to pick out a new movie, trying to ignore the sense of loss that came over her. She flipped through the different cases, and her heart nearly stopped when her eyes fell on a specific case.

The cover on the case featured two men and women side by side with their backs facing to the front of the case, but behind their backs, the two women were holding hands.

It was a gay movie. Well, lesbian, but nevertheless, Emily's heart was jumping out of her chest.

"What's this one about?" She asked quietly, hoping she didn't sound as petrified as she felt. Spencer leaned over, her face coming dangerously close to the swimmer's face, and Emily stopped breathing altogether.

"Oh," Spencer smiled and took the case from her before leaning back against the couch, and Emily finally let out the breath she'd been holding. "Well, it's about two women: one owns a flower shop and the other is getting married. The girl who owns the flower shop arranges the flowers for the other girl's wedding and they become attracted to each other the more time they spend together, but of course, there are problems, because the other girl can't be gay if she's married to her husband. It's actually a really cute movie," Spencer looked over to the swimmer with a smile and a raised eyebrow.

"Wanna watch it?"

What had Emily gotten herself into?

She was completely conflicted. While she didn't want to watch the movie with Spencer there, she did want to watch it out of curiosity and interest. Maybe it would help her understand why she felt like this; Maybe it would help her cope with all these . . . Feelings.

"You pick, I'll go make some more popcorn," Emily answered, putting the cases down and reluctantly moving away from Spencer. She couldn't do it, whether she wanted to watch it or not. Spencer couldn't know. No one could know.

She picked up the popcorn bowl and walked towards the kitchen, which was literally only five feet away from the living room with no doors to separate anything. She suddenly wished that the sleepover was at her house.

She placed a bag of popcorn into the microwave and watched out of the corner of her eye as Spencer flicked between the different cases. For a second, she swore that the brunette was eyeing the movie she had picked up but all too soon, the microwave was beeping and she had to pry her eyes away to get the popcorn. By the time she poured the bag into the bowl, Spencer was already popping in another movie. Emily bit her lip in frustration but ultimately let it go. What else was there to do?

"So, what'd you pick?" She asked as she walked over and sat beside Spencer again. The other girl reached into the bowl and smiled mischievously, and the butterflies that had finally left Emily alone came back with a vengeance.

"You'll see," Spencer responded with a grin, taking a few pieces of popcorn and popping them into her mouth. Emily, to say the least, was both excited and terrified. Her terror surpassed her excitement, however, when she watched the name _An American Haunting_ appear in red scribbling on the television. She groaned out loud, setting the popcorn on the table quickly and hugging another pillow to her chest.

"How could I let you do this again?" Emily muttered miserably, while Spencer laughed in delight and shot her a playful look.

"Because you love me," Emily's stomach jumped at the words, and when she looked over to the brunette, she found the girl looking at her with a look akin to adoration and, just maybe . . .

_Stop imagining things._

"Shut up," Emily murmured, both to herself and to the brunette, but Spencer simply giggled in response and grabbed a few more pieces of popcorn. The swimmer, although unhappy that she had to endure yet another horror movie, was glad that the movie she picked out wasn't being flashed on screen.

That's what she told herself, anyway.

* * *

><p>The sleepover was both a blessing and a curse, Emily surmised. Spending time with Spencer was definitely something that she needed; she really had missed the girl and their time had been both tempting – for obvious reasons – and sweet – therapeutic, even.<p>

However, now, it was just pure torture, because she'd forgotten the point of a sleepover: _sleeping_. Now, she was lying wide awake next to a half slumbering Spencer Hastings, trying her best not to touch her friend while simultaneously wondering what it would feel like to have her arms around her.

Despite her endless memories and daydreams of their kiss, Emily's thoughts about Spencer remained chaste, but romantic. It wasn't like she wanted to do anything . . . _Sexy_ with her friend – she didn't even have those thoughts about Alison, or anyone else – but she did want to hold her hand, and she did want to memorize the smell of her hair. Most of all, she wanted to kiss her again. Not make out, just kiss.

How could something so wrong feel so natural? It was wrong, right? She wasn't supposed to want to kiss anyone this much, let alone her best friend – her _female_ best friend – but, heaven help her, it was the only thing she was sure she would do again in a heartbeat if she had the chance. It was the only thing she was sure was right, even if it wasn't.

"I knew we shouldn't have watched those movies," Emily heard a sleepy murmur from in front of her and smiled softly. She watched as chestnut irises opened and met her eyes, and her heart did it's familiar skip. "Can't sleep?"

"Not really," She murmured sheepishly, feeling guilty that she'd woken up the girl beside her. She'd been so careful that she'd barely moved a muscle. Maybe Spencer could hear her thinking. She wouldn't have been surprised, really. She knew the brunette could rule the world if she wanted to. She smiled at the thought. "How'd you know?"

"Your breathing gave you away," The girl whispered, shifting slightly and placing a hand in front of her, right beside Emily's. The swimmer's breath hitched, but she recovered quickly and waited for the girl to continue. "Your breathing wasn't slow enough for you to be asleep,"

"Sounds like something a serial killer would say," Emily giggled and relished in the butterflies that filled her stomach when a smile graced Spencer's face. The fluttering doubled when Spencer's hand enveloped her own, and she welcomed the warm electricity that flooded her body.

"Maybe, or just a super genius," Spencer whispered with a smirk, rubbing circles on the back of Emily's hand as she held her gaze. If the swimmer wasn't almost a hundred percent sure that telepathy was impossible, she'd think that the _genius_ beside her knew exactly what was haunting her thoughts. Even so, she relished in the comforting gesture and played along.

"Sure, we'll say that," Emily hummed contentedly, watching as the brunette looked back at her. Spencer licked her lips – Emily pretended not to watch the action – and looked down at their joined hands.

"What were you thinking about?" She wondered if this was going to be one of those late night conversation where both girls revealed their deepest secrets and then went on to forget about them when the sun came up. Was she willing to risk letting loose the war in her mind for the comfort of the night?

Well, maybe a little.

"Last week," She whispered back, deciding not to say too much. She first wanted to know what the brunette thought she was talking about. Spencer's focus remained on their hands when she replied.

"What about it?"

"You know, the sleepover,"

"Hmm," Was the brunette's murmured response, but Emily wasn't sure what to make of it – until the girl smiled. "You slept with Hanna,"

"What?" Emily choked out, eyes wide as saucers. "I–I didn't sleep with Hanna, what are you–"

"Em, relax," Spencer shushed with a chuckle, entwining their fingers now instead of just holding the swimmer's hand. At the action, Emily obliged, albeit still shocked at the brunette's words. "I meant you slept beside Hanna. You know, instead of beside me," A wave of understanding hit the other girl and she gave a breathy laugh.

"I did sleep beside Hanna,"

"I felt kind of betrayed, you know," Spencer joked with a small smile, but Emily wasn't sure if she imagined the slight hurt in her voice. "We're bed buddies. I was stuck with Alison and Aria for the night, and Aria tosses around a lot," Emily laughed lightly at the quip.

"I won't leave you ever again, Spence," A small silence passed between them, both girls focused now on their intertwined hands. Spencer let out a small sigh and finally looked at Emily, whose breath caught once more at the familiar look of determination the brunette had on.

"You're talking about the kiss," Spencer murmured quietly, her eyes never leaving her friend's. Emily's heart sped up at the statement but she nodded.

"Yeah, I am," This was uncharted territory for the swimmer. She had no idea what to expect, and Spencer's face wasn't giving her any hints. She looked so brave, and yet so

. . . scared. What was she scared of? If anyone was supposed to be scared, it should have been Emily.

"What's been on your mind about it?" What _hadn't_ been on her mind about that moment? She could have answered in about a million different ways, perhaps talked about how she wished she could relive the moment over and over because there was no way she could ever get tired of it. But one question came to the forefront, one that had plagued her every time she replayed the heavenly moment in her head.

"Why?" Emily asked, barely above a whisper. Why would the brunette kiss her, with her first kiss, nonetheless? Was it out of pity? As nice as that would have seemed at the time, the swimmer truly hoped that wasn't the reason. She could be pathetic, but that was just over the top. Was Spencer feeling just as bad that day and looking for comfort? She had argued with Alison, but it would have been an oddity if she didn't argue with the blonde, so that couldn't have been it. Maybe, just maybe, the brunette feels –

No. She wouldn't allow herself to entertain those lies. She'd only regret them in the end.

"I'm not sure," Spencer answered with a sigh, turning her eyes back to their hands. "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time," She said with a smile and a shrug. Emily stared at the girl in disbelief. There was no way it was that easy.

"But it was your first kiss, Spencer," The swimmer stressed, her eyebrows scrunching together. "I thought you would have wanted to share that with someone special,"

"I did share it with someone special," Spencer insisted with a smile, and Emily's heart fluttered at the statement. "Emily, I wouldn't have wanted to share it with anyone else but you, don't you ever think otherwise."

This was dangerous, the swimmer knew. The words were making her feel things she knew would hurt her later. But she kept listening. She'd wonder later when she became a masochist.

"You told me that day that your first kiss wasn't everything you wanted it to be, so I guess I kind of thought that if I gave you my first kiss, it would kind of even it out. I only hope that it was as great for you as it was for me . . . Was it?" Spencer's hopeful gaze melted her heart and she smiled at the sight.

"It was," She whispered quietly as the warm feeling that always engulfed her when she was around the brunette coursed through her body. A comfortable silence passed between them before Spencer moved a bit closer, and Emily could see her face completely. It was a fleeting thought, but at that moment, the swimmer was sure she could watch the brunette the whole night and never get tired.

"I'd do it again, you know," Spencer murmured with a smile, pulling Emily's hand closer to her chest but never stopping the motions with her thumb. The swimmer's heart sped up, but to her surprise, so did the brunette's. Had she really heard that right? "Only if you'd let me, though,"

Emily almost wanted to laugh out loud at the statement. Only if she'd let her? Here she was, restraining her thoughts, but Spencer was perfectly fine with doing it again.

Oh, but only if she let her, though.

A silence passed between them, with Spencer cradling Emily's hand while Emily watched her with a racing mind. Her throat and stomach tightened with a nervous excitement that she couldn't quite explain. Nothing was going to happen, she was certain.

Almost certain.

"Is it okay that I said that?" Spencer whispered self -consciously, refusing to make eye contact now with the swimmer.

"It was more than okay," Emily murmured back with a smile that the brunette in front of her returned. This was definitely dangerous territory, and if she weren't certain that things would probably go back to normal in the morning, she wouldn't even contemplate the words she was about to say. Honesty was always the best policy, however, and unfortunately, she could never be anything less with Spencer Hastings.

"I wish you would kiss me, sometimes," It was barely above a whisper, but it was still enough to have chocolate orbs look up at her in surprise. Emily took in a deep breath. There was no going back now, might as well go big or go home. "Most times, it's all I can think about. It's always on my mind. " Emily licked her lips and almost died when she watched those eyes look down at the action and look back up. "Like right now,"

She heard an intake of breath from the girl in front of her, and suddenly wondered if saying any of that was some horrible mistake. But then Spencer scooted closer to her, so much so that she could feel the brunette's breath on her skin.

"Can I kiss you?"

Clearly it wasn't a horrible mistake.

In a million different ways, she'd imagined this moment. Heart pounding, excitement and impatience pumping in her veins while her breath mingled with the brunette's as their gazes locked before a mind blowing kiss. And every time she imagined this moment, her answer was always the same.

"I wish you would," Emily could hear blood pumping in her ears after what she had whispered, but all she could do was stare back at the girl in front of her, who was looking at her with an indescribable expression. Her nerves were on fire, and she was sure her heart was ready to burst from how fast it was beating, but she couldn't stop staring at Spencer.

There was light coming in from the window – she wasn't sure if it was a streetlight or even the moon – that illuminated the brunette's features and showed her blown pupils and bright, chestnut eyes. Her mouth was open very slightly, but her breaths were soft and shallow, as if she was just as nervous. Her hair was doing that thing where it was crazy and unkempt and not at all Spencer Hastings, but all Emily could think was how beautiful she was at that moment. It was so silly and corny, but she couldn't help herself. She was so enamored that she hadn't even realized when she had started moving in until she met a soft pair of lips that sent tingles throughout her whole body.

It was a barely there kiss – her lips had only brushed against Spencer's – but then there was a hand on the back of her head and she was kissing Spencer Hastings completely. Her nerves sparked every time she met the girl's lips and she felt like she was absolutely melting. Spencer's lips were soft and sweet – just like she remembered – and with every single kiss, she could feel the fireworks exploding behind her eyes and through her system. But what started out as sweet, small kisses quickly became something more – something needy and heavy.

Somewhere along the way, Emily had gotten bolder and placed a hand on the other girl's hip, but Spencer's kisses were relentless – not that Emily was complaining. The brunette paid extra attention to the swimmer's bottom lip and, out of shock and pleasure, Emily let out small moan and gripped her hip tighter. She could feel Spencer's pushing against her, urging her back while she kissed her breathless, and soon enough, the brunette was mostly on top of her, supporting her body with one hand while the other remained in Emily's hair.

The swimmer ran her hands up Spencer's back, feeling the muscles arch towards her hands. Spencer's shirt wasn't much of a barrier, Emily realized, and she could feel how hot the girl's skin was against her fingertips. She gripped the back of the girl's shirt suddenly when she felt the brunette nip her lower lip and lick the area lightly and she nearly let out another moan. It was getting too heavy for her – for both of them – she knew, but she couldn't find a reason to care. The warm feeling pooling just below her stomach made her whole body flare up, and she wanted more of it. She wanted more of Spencer.

The brunette above her began to trail lingering kisses across Emily's cheek and down her neck, making the girl's breath hitch. She could feel Spencer's lips against her pulse point and each breath in between the kisses she left on her skin, and Emily swore she was going to pass out from how fast her heart was beating. She could feel the moans threatening to spill from her lips the lower Spencer went, and she was so focused on the girl's lips that she hardly realized where the hand that was in her hair had gone.

The moment that Spencer kissed and nipped her collarbone was the same moment she felt her cool fingertips lightly caress the skin of her stomach, leaving butterflies on the skin they touched. By now, the warm feeling below Emily's stomach had turned into a flame, the flames only growing the more Spencer touched her. She could hardly hold back the moan that escaped her lips.

"Spencer," She half whispered, half moaned, her heart thundering in anticipation the higher the brunette's hand went. Until it stopped. Spencer's hand paused just above her belly button, and her kisses ceased to continue. Emily opened her eyes, not realizing she had closed them until then, and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Has she done something wrong?

"I'm sorry," Was the apology she heard whispered against her neck, that also sent chills down her spine. Emily loosened her grip on Spencer's shirt, knowing in the back of her mind that it would be wrinkled, and watched the brunette lift her head. She resisted the urge to run her finger along Spencer's lips, which were now a little redder than before, as she caught her breath and stared up at the girl that made her heart soar.

"Is everything okay?" She asked timidly, still a little breathless and not entirely sure why Spencer had stopped kissing her. As far as she knew – and felt – things had been going fine. _Really _fine. Spencer smiled down at her, just as breathless as the swimmer, and Emily's stomach did it's familiar little jump.

"Too much too soon," She whispered, removing the hand from under the girl's shirt and running her thumb along Emily's cheek. It was such a feather-light touch and so soft, and Emily's heart was stuttering in her chest at the feeling and at how sweetly Spencer was looking down at her. She nodded slowly in agreement, though it was reluctant. She wouldn't have minded going a little further, but all her thoughts fell apart when she felt those soft, mesmerizing, breath-taking lips meet hers in a sweet kiss.

The kiss ended all too soon – in Emily's opinion – and Spencer moved away from her and returned to her side of the bed. The swimmer watched as the brunette comfortably rested on her back before looking over to her with a smile. She reached for her hand and gave it a tug, asking her wordlessly to move closer. Emily smiled at the action and began to scoot over until she was flush against the other girl. She felt Spencer's hand on her back, and suddenly, she was using Spencer's chest as a pillow.

She'd never been this intimate with anyone before. Kissing was one thing but this felt so much more than that. She could hear the other girl's heart beating soothingly against her ear while Spencer's hand moved up and down along her back. All the adrenaline from their kisses seemed to fade instantly – though, she wouldn't have minded restarting all of it – and if she were being honest, she actually preferred this. This felt right – it felt _real_. She wondered how real it would feel in the morning and then frowned, deciding to deal with that when she woke up. Right now, she would enjoy Spencer's warm embrace and steady heartbeat.

"You know, for someone who's only kissed two people," Spencer murmured into her hair, her hand running down through the length of it now. "You're a really good kisser." Emily laughed into Spencer's chest, and shook her head.

"For someone who's only kissed _one _person," Emily whispered back, smiling at the fact that she'd been the only person Spencer had ever kissed and reveling in the warm feeling that washed over her as she thought about it. "You're an amazing kisser." She could feel Spencer laugh more than she heard her and grinned to herself.

"I watch a lot of movies," Spencer said nonchalantly, but Emily could clearly hear the smile in her voice. She bit her lip to keep from giggling.

"Well, they definitely paid off," Emily murmured, twirling her finger on the fabric of Spencer's shirt. She heard the girl sigh contentedly above her and smiled, cuddling just the slightest bit closer. If she got any closer, she thought with amusement, her and Spencer would probably become one. Emily and Spencer. Spencer and Emily.

They sounded good together.

"Goodnight, Em," She heard the girl whisper above her and smiled, placing her arm across the girl's stomach and holding her close.

"Goodnight, Spence,"

_So much for nothing sexy._

* * *

><p><em>AN: ;)_


	3. You're Fine and You're Mine

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and all characters belong to their respectful owners.**

Summary: Spencer and Emily are forced back into reality, but not without a few kisses here and there. Oh, and trouble, too.

Rating: T

_A/N: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOUUUUUUU ALL FOR THE AMAZING REVIEWS AND FOLLOWS AND FAVORITES! You guys honestly have no idea how surprised and absolutely happy I am with the turn out of this story. I'm so happy you're all liking it, I just don't think I'll ever not be shocked, but you should all know how much I love your words and acts of encouragement :)_

_Anyways, I know it's been a year since I've updated (New Years jokes keep me young), and my time for updating has been stalled a little by school, but don't worry, because this is DEFINITELY NOT getting abandoned. I refuse to let a Spemily story go down. That and I kind of love where it's going so far. But to make up for my few weeks of silence in this story, I give you 10,000 words of Spemily :) probably the most I've ever written for one chapter, but I couldn't bear splitting it in two. Hopefully by early February, I'll have chapter 4 up, which might end up being just as long (oops), but we'll see right?_

_Also, kudos to the person who guessed about Spencer's P.O.V. appearing in this chapter. And here I thought I was being inconspicuous :( Okay, I'm done, have fun reading! :)_

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><p>The school was always open during the summer for students who wanted to take advantage of using the sports areas while there were no classes – despite how dangerous it was for a school to leave most of its doors completely open. Not a lot of people took advantage of the opportunity to practice, which was why it was so great for Spencer, who was never one to ignore amazing opportunities when they presented themselves – emphasis on amazing.<p>

She decided to spend only two hours on the school's field, since Hanna had texted her and asked her to go to the mall to buy something for a party that Alison had invited them to that morning. If the normal Spencer had been present, she could have argued that practice had gone a little awry and that she needed way more than two hours. She'd missed the goal at least six times – that was six times more than she was used to – but normal Spencer hadn't been present for about two weeks now.

Happy Spencer had taken her place.

And it was all thanks to Emily Fields.

Tall, tan, beautiful, perfect, stunning, divine, alluring, pulchritudinous – she'd been studying straight out of the dictionary now for the PSAT – Emily Fields.

To say she'd been walking on air was an understatement; she was absolutely soaring by now. She couldn't remember ever being this happy in a long time, and her newfound happiness was making her do things she simply did not do, like write poetry – she loved reading it, but _damn_ did she suck at writing it – and sing.

Spencer Hastings did not sing.

Ever.

But Happy Spencer Hastings brought a mini radio with her to the school and was humming and singing to music while she changed into her extra clothing.

And if she were being completely honest with herself, she liked being Happy Spencer more than she liked being Normal Spencer. She hoped against hope that Happy Spencer was here to stay. She hoped that Emily would help Happy Spencer stay.

The two of them had a lot to talk about she knew, and she was completely committed to having that talk. She could only imagine what was going through Emily's mind after everything that had happened, and although she wanted to spend almost every waking minute with the girl, she did know that she needed her space to process everything. That, and she had no idea how to explain her actions to the girl without totally giving her feelings – what Emily hadn't figured out, anyways – away.

She'd figured out pretty early on that Emily was head over heels for Alison – _unfortunately_ for her – but she was starting to feel that maybe, just maybe, the swimmer's feelings were starting to change towards Alison – and towards herself. She might have gone a little overboard with that make-out session during their sleepover, but she'd been thinking about Emily's lips since she'd kissed them – and way before that – and the swimmer's words towards her were too much to ignore.

Plus, Emily was definitely not complaining, and that was something that Spencer thought about constantly. But again, she would give Emily the time and space she needed and take things slow, maybe save the make-out sessions for a later date. For now, she would just try to be the good friend she always tried to be and have that much needed talk with the other girl when the time was right.

"_Alright, now, we're gonna head back in time to the good old days, and play one of the classics. An oldie but a goodie by Redbone_," The DJ's voice from the radio station began to drown out as a familiar song played out through the little radio's speakers. Spencer pulled her shirt over her head and smiled, shrugging her shoulders to the beat as she grabbed her brush. Initially, she'd intended to actually brush her hair, but the little wooden object ended up as a makeshift microphone while Spencer sang along to the song.

"_Hey, hey, what's the matter with your head? Ye-eh-ah. Hey, hey, what's the matter with your mind and your sighing and a _–_ oh, oh, oh,_" Spencer sang loudly, twirling around and dancing embarrassingly, but it wasn't as if anyone was watching her, so the more embarrassing, the more fun.

"_Hey, hey, nothin's the matter with your head, baby find it, come on and find it. Hell, with it baby, 'cause you're fine, and your mine and ya look so divine._" Spencer jumped on to the bench of the locker room, holding her hair brush up high and singing straight into the wooden stick.

"_Come and get your love!"_

"Wow, taking those moves to prom, Spence?"

Spencer nearly fell off the bench from how quickly she turned around at the voice. Alison was there, leaning against a locker at the end with her arms crossed and smirking and Spencer felt a lump rise in her throat. She wasn't scared of Alison, but she hated when the blonde had that smirk on her face – like she knew something she wasn't supposed to and she was going to bury you with it.

"Training to be a stalker, Alison?" Spencer retorted smartly, quickly jumping off the bench and shutting the music off. She looked over at Alison, trying to prove that her gaze didn't intimidate her, but for a second, she saw a flash of fear across Alison's features before they returned to their usual malice. She pushed what she saw to the back, deciding to question that when the blonde wasn't being annoying.

"I guess all those dance lessons our parents made us take didn't pay off." The blonde snarked, her smirk growing. Spencer rolled her eyes and put her hair brush back into her locker.

"Did you come here to make fun of my dancing or did you actually want something?" Spencer could practically hear herself fall right into a trap after asking the question, but she needed to know. Alison's smirk widened into a smile, and Spencer couldn't help but think about a cat that just caught a mouse.

"How's Emily?" The brunette's blood ran cold at the mention of the other girl's name. She inhaled sharply and looked away, trying to gather her composure. It didn't matter, of course, because Alison saw right through her. She'd been caught.

"How should I know?" Spencer muttered, gazing inside her locker and avoiding Alison's gaze at all costs.

"Well, you guys were together yesterday, weren't you?" The brunette's heart began to thunder in her chest, but she steeled herself and planned another snarky retort – until the blonde beat her to it. "And don't give me any of that stalker crap again; you two are way too obvious. Did you forget I live right next to you and was getting ready to go out?" Spencer mentally berated herself for forgetting that little detail. Even so, she kept her chin up and defended herself and, more importantly, Emily.

"We just had a sleepover. Not all of us always want to get dragged along to those frat parties and then make a run for it when the cops break them up."

"Excuse me for trying to have a little fun. Hanna and Aria seem to like them just fine." Alison answered with a shrug, moving closer and taking a seat on the bench, crossing her legs and leaning back comfortably. "But I guess you two are a little . . . _Different_." She emphasized with a mischievous smile, tilting her head to seem innocent. Spencer clenched her jaw but didn't turn to look at her. She wouldn't give Alison the pleasure of seeing her just the slightest bit intimidated.

"Sorry to disappoint." Spencer answered, pretending to turn something over in her locker. She heard Alison laugh to herself, and the brunette had to use all her willpower not to turn around and smack her.

"You should be thanking me, you know," The blonde said smugly, inspecting her nails casually as if they were talking about the weather. Spencer spun around, eyebrows raised in disbelief. She was so shocked that she was actually smiling.

"For what?" She laughed out, crossing her arms and putting on a sarcastic look of interest as she listened.

"Had it not been for me, she wouldn't have come running into your _loving_ arms," Alison answered, looking up from her nails and smiling slyly at the brunette, who inhaled sharply.

"She didn't come running to me," Spencer muttered, looking away from the blonde once more. She knew what was coming next, and she steeled herself for what she knew that blonde was going to say.

"She kissed me, in case you didn't know, but I'm sure with all the time you two have been spending together, she told you all about it." Alison boasted, her devilish smile growing while Spencer's jaw clenched once more. The blonde observed Spencer's rigid posture and facial features and rolled her eyes. "Spencer get over it. I'm sure you two have played enough saliva soccer for her to forget about it."

"You're so gross," Spencer commented with disgust, and turned back around, trying to hide the obvious blush that was crawling up her neck. Alison gave a fake pout and stood, moving closer to the brunette.

"Cheer up, Spence. You don't have to play coy with me," The blonde sarcastically soothed, standing beside the brunette while Spencer ignored her as best as she could and stared into her locker. "Don't forget, I know exactly how you feel about Emily. The longing looks, the idiotic smiling, I've seen it all." She said with a sigh, twirling a piece of Spencer's hair distractedly. "I knew exactly how you felt even before I found you crying over her." The blonde smiled with fake sincerity, but Spencer was fuming on the inside. She was ready to explode. "I did this for you." That last sentence lit the fuse.

"I'm not charity case, Alison," Spencer answered loudly, turning to face the blonde. Alison's eyebrows raised at the aggression in the brunette's voice, clearly amused. It only pushed Spencer further. "And Emily isn't some toy you can just give to me because you're tired of playing with her. She's a person, a real human being, and the only reason I put up with all the crap you put her through was because I knew how she felt about you. So don't pretend that you did any of this for either of us." The brunette snarled, her face cold and biting as she breathed deeply and challenged the blonde to talk back to her. Alison, for once, said nothing, only stared back at the brunette calmly. Spencer shook her head and looked back to her locker.

"You're Alison DiLaurentis," She muttered, holding on to the door of her locker. "And everything you do is for yourself."

Spencer chanced a glance at Alison out of the corner of her eye and almost believed that she saw her eyes brimming with what looked to be tears. But, just as soon as she saw them, they were gone, and she was met with a familiar, menacing glare.

"Make sure you're ready by seven to go out tonight. And wear something hot. I don't want to show up with someone dressed like a Republican." Was all Alison told her before she walked away, her steps even and light as they faded. Spencer exhaled angrily, closing her eyes and shaking her head.

What had she just done? Getting into fights with Alison never ended well for her, she knew that very well. Despite the fact that she hated submitting to the blonde, it's what kept her secret safe. She let her temper get the best of her, and she hated the fact that she felt a little guilty about the things that she'd said. More than that though, she hated the fact that Alison was running around knowing about things that she shouldn't know about.

And now, Spencer had made her angry.

The brunette slammed her locker shut, the noise reverberating around the empty locker room. She grabbed her things and sent a quick text to Hanna that she was on her way over to her house before she began to walk out of the locker room.

Hopefully, the shopping trip with Hanna would ease her thoughts.

But she knew what they said about hope.

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><p><em>When Emily opened her eyes and saw Spencer lying beside her, she automatically closed them again, thinking that it was probably one of the many dreams she'd had in the past week. She shuffled closer to the warm body, enjoying how real her imagination felt as she wrapped her arms around the brunette beside her. She felt Spencer adjust her position before she felt soft fingertips brushing hair out of her face.<em>

_"Good morning." She heard the girl whisper, and inhaled the minty breath. Her dreams were getting more detailed by the day. Emily opened her eyes slowly again and found the warm chocolate from the night before staring at her adoringly. She smiled, relishing in the familiar flutter of her heart, before closing her eyes again._

_"You're so pretty." She murmured, more than half asleep, and sighed as she felt the hand that brushed the hair from her face on her hip. She heard the girl beside her laugh softly while she soothingly rubbed the skin that Emily's shirt didn't cover._

_"Thank you," Spencer whispered, kissing the tip of Emily's nose. "You're very pretty, too." Emily's eyebrows furrowed as soon as Spencer's lips left her nose, and she could hear the brunette laughing again. "What?"_

_"That felt very real for a dream." Emily muttered, her senses starting to kick in better as she realized how realistic her dream was. Did all that chlorine finally get to her?_

_"Em," Spencer breathed, and the swimmer could her trying to hold back her laughter. "This isn't a dream."_

_"Hm?" Emily hummed, moving closer, her eyes feeling a little less heavy._

_"This is real. Open your eyes," The swimmer did as she was told and was met with the same soft irises that she thought she'd been dreaming about. A smile graced Spencer's face and Emily's stomach woke up immediately. "Hi." Spencer whispered, her smile growing the more she watched the swimmer come into realization. Emily blinked about five or six times before her eyes widened and she covered her mouth with the sheets between them._

_"Oh my gosh," She mumbled through the sheets, causing Spencer to let out even more laughter._

_"Good morning to you too, sunshine," Spencer said with a blissful smile, and if Emily weren't so embarrassed, she would have returned it wholeheartedly. Right now, however, she wanted to slap herself._

_"I'm so stupid," She muttered, closing her eyes in disbelief._

_"I thought it was cute," The brunette insisted, watching with amusement as the swimmer shook her head. Spencer could practically hear the other girl mentally reprimand herself, and she only found her even more endearing._

_"I called you pretty," Emily groaned, opening her eyes and scrunching her eyebrows together. Spencer pouted playfully at her words._

_"Am I not pretty?" She asked, faking the hurt in her words. Emily felt her stomach flutter at the playfulness and wondered briefly why it had taken her so long to get to know this side of Spencer Hastings._

_"I could have used a better word," The swimmer affirmed, her eyes dipping uncontrollably when Spencer licked her bottom lip. She would remember to berate herself later about it or maybe not at all, considering the way Spencer was smiling at her from the action._

_"Like?" Emily's eyes widened in panic at the question. She knew that Spencer had read more books than she could ever imagine, and if she knew Spencer, the girl was probably already practicing for the PSAT, which was months away. It wasn't like she didn't know any synonyms for the word 'pretty', but she wanted to impress the brunette in front of her, who was presently staring at her with a look that set her heart on fire. _

_Right now, however, she couldn't even think of a three-lettered synonym for 'pretty' if she tried. That, of course, she could blame on Spencer, for turning her brain to mush._

_"Like . . . Beautiful," Okay, that was one. "Attractive . . . Lovely," __**Not bad**__, Emily thought to herself. __**Not good but not bad. **__Spencer watched her in delight as she struggled and decided that perhaps she would stop letting the girl torture herself._

_"Would you say I'm gorgeous?" She asked coyly, batting her eyelashes for extra effect. Emily relaxed a little and smiled behind the sheets against her lips._

_"Yes,"_

_"And bewitching?"_

_"Absolutely," Emily giggled, actually enjoying the game now._

_"Would you say I'm . . . Captivating?"_

_"Mhm,"_

_"What about . . . Pulchritudinous?" Spencer laughed as she watched Emily's eyebrows furrow in confusion again._

_"What does that mean?"_

_"It means to be beautiful." Spencer answered, moving closer to Emily, who's heart leapt in her chest._

_"Oh, well in that case, you are very, very pulchritudinous, Spencer Hastings," Emily mumbled through the sheets, smiling widely as Spencer giggled._

_"My, my Emily, who knew you had such a vibrant vocabulary," The brunette joked, her hand moving from Emily's hip and to the sheet separating their faces. Emily almost frowned, but the way Spencer was looking at her kept her from doing anything but smiling._

_"It's one of my many talents," Emily quipped, and realized suddenly, that they were flirting. This was what flirting felt like. This playful joking with just a hint of something more was exactly what flirting was, and judging by the way Spencer had suddenly moved closer to her, she could feel that the something more was coming up now._

_"Oh?" Spencer whispered, lowering the sheets from Emily's lips and watching them with interest. Emily's breath caught in her throat as she watched the chocolate irises meet her eyes again. "And what are your other talents?"_

_She watched excitedly as Spencer's eyes closed while she began to move in, and just as she was about to meet her lips in what she knew would be an amazing kiss, a blaring sign flashed in her head and she pulled away abruptly. _

_Spencer had definitely brushed her teeth. _

_She __**had not**__._

_Spencer opened her eyes in confusion, lips still slightly puckered, and Emily wanted nothing more than to kiss that cute expression on her face, but she opted to instead raise the sheets to her lips once more._

_"Is there something wrong?" Spencer asked, her eyebrows scrunching together now._

_"Morning breath," The swimmer mumbled sheepishly, making Spencer smile before letting out a laugh._

_"Emily, I don't care about that. I just woke up brushed my teeth out of habit, that's all. I'm sure your breath smells fine."_

_"Well, just in case it doesn't, I'll be right back," Emily said and watched as Spencer's face turned into a real pout. Her heart fluttered at the sight and she couldn't help but smile. One little kiss wouldn't hurt. _

_In one swift motion, Emily gave Spencer a quick peck on the lips, sheet still covering her lips, and pulled away._

_"I'll be right back, I promise," By now, Spencer was smiling at her silliness but nodded eagerly as she watched Emily leave the bed and head into the bathroom._

"Em?" Emily snapped out of her thoughts as Aria's voice came into focus. She looked up and saw the shorter girl approach their booth with two smoothies.

"Sorry," She apologized with a sheepish smile, taking her frozen treat from the girl's hands. "Just zoned out."

"I see that," Aria answered with a smile. "You've been doing that a lot."

"Really?" Emily asked absently, her mind still on her thoughts mostly. "I didn't notice." Aria laughed quietly to herself.

"I see that, too." She murmured, taking a sip from her strawberry smoothie. Emily stared down at her own frozen drink and began to stir it, her head resting in her other hand as her mind drifted once more.

Spencer Hastings. Of all the people in the world who could have changed the downward spiral she was falling through, it had to be her. If someone had told her that this was how it was going to play out, that this was how she was going to _finally_ get over Alison, she probably would have looked at them as if they had grown two heads and started juggling with five feet – or something just as strange.

Emily bit her lip and smiled to herself. It had to be her. She'd thought about that a lot during her week of nonstop swimming at the pool. She'd tried to switch Spencer's face with any other girl's, – Hanna, Aria, that girl on her swim team who always smiled at her for a little too long - and yet, none of them fit. And if she were being honest, she kind of didn't want them to.

The harder part was understanding why. Why not continue to pursue Alison and forget about Spencer? The answer to that was simple – the breathtaking kiss. But then came the next question: why had she let herself be kissed? Why did she let Spencer lean into her, why didn't she protest when she realized how close their faces were?

Why didn't she pull away?

That answer came to her that morning in the shower, after she'd gotten the text from Aria to hang out with her – and also after she'd left Spencer's house with a big, silly smile on her face.

Alison and Spencer were two sides of the same coin. Both of them were smart, domineering, and competitive to no end. It was no wonder why they were always clashing about something. But no matter how much Spencer could match Alison's personality, she was not Alison.

Spencer could be cold, and conniving, and indifferent, but she could also be sincere, and kind, and loving. It took Emily far too long to see all the things that the other brunette had done for her or to defend her. She'd always just thought that it was just Spencer being Spencer – trying to find a way to piss off Alison in any way possible. But the more Emily thought about Spencer, the more she realized that she'd been the subject of most of their arguments.

Whenever Alison pressured Emily into flirting with a boy, Spencer was there to tell her to back off. Whenever Alison forced Emily to drive her around, Spencer was there to remind her that she wasn't Alison's dog. Whenever Alison was there to put Emily down for whatever reason, Spencer was there to help keep her up.

Spencer had always been there.

And she had always been too blind to realize that.

However, when she did realize that, a giddy, overwhelmingly happy feeling overcame her to the point where she had squealed in the shower. Spencer had done all those things for her, meaning that maybe – just maybe – the brunette had feelings for her for a while now. The guilt hit her soon after, because if Spencer did have feelings for her, than she must have suffered quite a bit while watching her pine over Alison. At least now, she thought with a wide smile, they could make each other happy. They were already making each other happy, she reminded herself with a blush, in more ways than one.

And her newfound happiness wasn't going unnoticed either, unfortunately for her. She had figured that out a little too late when she looked up at Aria and saw a skeptical look on her friend's face. Her smile drooped and she looked away immediately.

Busted.

"What's up with you?" Aria asked curiously, stirring her drink as she watched the swimmer with eyes slightly squinted in question. Emily gave a small shrug and shaped her face to look indifferent.

"Nothing's up," She answered nonchalantly, looking down to the table. She could tell, even without looking up, that Aria wasn't buying it.

"Really?" The girl asked, raising an eyebrow. "Because you've been smiling and giggling to yourself all day, not to mention checking your phone like it's an addiction." Crap, she was definitely busted.

"I'm just happy, that's all," Emily said with a shrug, trying not to sound guilty. It seemed that the odds were against her, however, because her phone decided to vibrate at that moment with a new text message. She glanced over at her phone to see who the message was from and her lips betrayed her with a smile. A grave mistake.

"Very happy," Aria added with a smirk as she watched Emily's reaction to the text. "But for what reason?" Emily looked up from her phone and her smile faded once more. She looked away again and shrugged with a shake of her head. Aria eyed her carefully, and then her eyes lit up with realization and a smile. "I knew it!" Emily looked over to her out of the corner of her eyes, trying to mask her worry. There was no way the other girl had figured it out. No one knew, not even Alison. "You met someone, didn't you?" Crap.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Emily admitted, mentally berating herself for faltering.

"Oh come on, Em, it's just me! You know you can tell me, I won't say a thing." Aria promised, making a zipper motion across her mouth. Emily took in a deep breath and actually thought about this issue. She knew she couldn't tell her about Spencer - that was just out of the question. However, was there anything really wrong with telling her friend that she had a crush? If she were being honest, Emily was absolutely dying to tell someone about what she was feeling, someone who would probably squeal as much as she would. And fortunately for her, she'd known Aria long enough to know that she was quite the squealer.

"Okay," Emily relented with a smile. She bit her lip and shook her head, not believing what she was about to say. She leaned in closer to Aria, who leaned in as well to hear the whispered words. "I met someone." As expected, the girl in front of her squealed in absolute delight.

"I knew it! You looked like Spencer when she gets back her tests," At the mention of Spencer's name, Emily laughed lightly as she felt the butterflies erupt in her stomach. She looked down at the table and smiled to herself, trying and failing to get herself under control. She should have figured, however, that after telling Aria the truth, the girl would want to know more. "So, anyone I know?" Emily took in a steadying breath and shook her head, finally looking up, but not at Aria.

"You don't know them." She answered briefly, making sure to use neutral pronouns. Just because she didn't want Aria to know it was a girl didn't mean she wanted her to think it was a guy.

"Aw, come on, Em! Who's the lucky guy?" She should have also figured that Aria would absolutely jump to the conclusion that it was a guy, pronouns or not. She wasn't sure if she was glad that the girl thought she was straight or upset because she was hiding something from her friend, but the drop in her stomach at the assumption made her more than just a little uncomfortable.

"Sorry, Aria," Emily said with a smile, to which Aria returned with a pout. She seemed to get over it immediately, because that intense curiosity came back on to her face.

"Okay, fine, but you have to tell me everything. How did you two meet? Was it here, or was it at a party? Is he nice? Is he cute? Oh God, please tell me he's cute," Emily laughed at the burst of questions, but was mostly glad that she was able to talk about it with one of her friends – even if she was partly lying.

"He's very cute," She answered with a smile, her mind immediately forming the image of Spencer from that morning, how she had laughed at her with bright eyes while staring at her with a look that melted her whole being.

Aria's torrent of questions came to a pause when her phone vibrated on the table. She gave a small 'ugh' and looked up at Emily, holding a finger towards her.

"This isn't over," She warned playfully, to which Emily nodded with a smile. She let Aria open up her message and watched as the girl's eyebrows furrowed. "Hanna just sent me a picture of a sundress she wants to buy. I swear I saw that dress when we were on the third level. You think she's here?" Aria asked before sliding the phone over to Emily to look at the dress. The swimmer looked down at the photo and hummed in contemplation. It was a nice dress, but it didn't seem right for Hanna. But Aria did have a point. She'd definitely seen that dress at one of the stores above them.

"Yeah, I think I saw it too." Emily agreed, sliding the phone back over to her friend. "You wanna meet up with her?"

"Sure, I don't mind. Looks like she needs help anyways, because that dress is not for her." Emily rolled her eyes but couldn't help smiling as she watched her friend send a text to Hanna. A reply came almost instantaneously – she was still shocked at how fast Hanna could type – and Aria relayed the message to her. "Yeah, she's here with Spencer on the third floor." Emily's heart skipped a beat at the words. She tried to hide her sudden rush of excitement with surprise.

"Spencer's here?" She asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. Aria didn't seem to notice, fortunately for her.

"Mhm, wanna go see them now?"

"Yes," Emily said rapidly, realizing her mistake. She covered her eagerness up by shrugging nonchalantly. "I mean, yeah, let's go." Aria raised an eyebrow in her direction.

"Okay." She answered with a confused smile before shooting a text to Hanna. "Let's go," Both girls stood from their seats and tossed whatever was left of their food, despite the fact that Emily had barely sipped anything. She couldn't imagine eating any of it anyways, considering that in just a few minutes, she'd be face to face with the girl who was making all her dreams come true.

* * *

><p><em>"I told you I'd be back," Emily said with a smile as she crawled back into bed with Spencer. Spencer's heart thudded in excitement as she smiled at the girl in front of her, now with minty fresh breath.<em>

_"I never doubted you for a second," Spencer murmured, scooting closer so that her legs were against Emily's. She heard a gasp come from the girl in front of her and smirked a little. The swimmer's legs were a little cold from being exposed, but the brunette didn't mind the slightest bit. The cold was a comfort, actually, since Spencer felt like she was going to burn up from how Emily made her feel. _

_"What time is it?" Emily asked, licking her lips nervously, and Spencer could see that she was trying to put off the inevitable. She wondered if the girl had the same fears as herself - the fear of rushing head first into whatever they were doing. Not that Spencer was overflowing with experience, but she knew that relationships that flared up fast also burned out fast. _

_She didn't want her relationship with Emily to end in flames. She wouldn't allow it._

_"It's early enough," The brunette answered in a sigh, staring at Emily's lips longingly as her heart thundered in her ears. She felt like an electron, helplessly attracted to a proton and dying to meet it, even if the proton would end up swallowing her whole. She would gladly take that chance a million times and more._

_"Early enough?" Emily's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, and Spencer could hardly keep down the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach at the sight. "Early enough for what?" Spencer wondered briefly if the swimmer could hear her heart pounding against her chest. She hoped that she did. She wanted Emily to know how crazy she drove her._

_Spencer cupped the girl's face with her hand, and watched as the girl stared back at her in what she hoped was anticipation. She let her hand fall to the girl's neck and felt the pulse point there beating wildly against her fingertips. She almost grinned._

_"Early enough not to be interrupted," She whispered, leaning closer to Emily's face. The swimmer's lips fell open in alacrity, almost inviting Spencer to move further._

_"Interrupted?" Emily let out weakly, the faint confusion on her face clouded by lust. Spencer hummed in response, her hand going back to cup the girl's face as she leaned in, nodding lightly._

_"Interrupted," She murmured before closing the distance between them and meeting Emily's lips in a breathtaking kiss. Spencer felt the girl kiss her back eagerly, her hand coming to rest against the brunette's cheek, and smiled into the kiss. She let her hand roam back down to the girl's waist and pulled her closer, feeling Emily take in a sharp breath as her lips fell open. _

_Just as she was about to deepen their somewhat innocent kiss, loud vibrations began to sound throughout the room. Spencer pulled away only slightly, her lips barely a centimeter from Emily's as they listened to the sound. She opened her eyes a little and stared at the swimmer, whose eyes were still closed._

_"I think that's my phone," Emily whispered, opening her eyes to look at the brunette. Spencer's heart sped up at the sight, eager to continue their actions, but choosing to subdue herself for the moment._

_"Do you want to check who it is? It could be your mom." Spencer said, and Emily nodded, slowly removing her hand from her face and turning over to grab her phone off the night stand. Spencer watched as the girl observed her phone and took in her sudden change in demeanor. She looked nervous. "What's wrong?" The brunette asked, a worried feeling pooling uncomfortably in her stomach. She watched as Emily bit her lip and looked over to her._

_"It's Alison," Emily answered with a sigh, looking almost as uncomfortable as Spencer felt. The brunette's heart tightened at the information, and she swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat. She'd almost forgotten – tried to, at least _–_ Emily's feelings for the blonde. In reality, she'd been silently hoping that the girl's feelings had changed after their moment last week. But Spencer wasn't an idiot - far from it - and she knew feelings didn't change overnight. She'd been hoping, however, that a week would have done the trick._

_"Are you going to answer?" Spencer asked, sounding a lot smaller than usual. She couldn't help it, however. She was used to Emily choosing Alison over everyone else _–_ including her _–_ and she wouldn't have been surprised if the swimmer did it again at this moment. But surprise was one thing, and heartbreak was another, and she was sure that the latter would be unavoidable if Emily got up from her bed to take Alison's phone call._

_Emily seemed to sense Spencer's distress and looked over to the brunette once more before looking back to her phone screen. Spencer closed her eyes and let out what was supposed to be a calming breath, but ended up shaky. She couldn't watch Emily take that call. _

_And, as it turned out, she didn't have to, because before she had the chance to open her eyes, she felt a pair of soft lips caress her own in a warm kiss that stole her breath for a second time._

_"She can leave a message." Emily murmured against her lips, and Spencer's grin nearly split her face. She chose her over Alison. She chose __**her**__ over __**Alison**__. She felt like one of those cartoons where the character morphs into a rocket ship after being kissed by a girl. She swore if she could, Spencer would have been soaring with the stars right now._

_Just as Emily leaned in to kiss her again, vibrations sounded once more; this time, from Spencer's side of the room. Spencer groaned in irritation and parted reluctantly from Emily's lips._

_"You have got to be kidding me." She muttered in annoyance, leaning her forehead on to Emily's, eyes closed in frustration. Emily giggled and placed a hand on the small of Spencer's back, rubbing soothingly._

_"Do you want to pick it up?" Emily asked, and Spencer smiled at the question. She almost couldn't believe the girl was actually asking that question._

_"No," Spencer answered, opening her eyes and staring into Emily's before frowning. "I just want to kiss you." The brunette almost sighed in relief as the vibrations finally ceased. She watched the swimmer curiously as she observed the mischievous glint in her eyes._

_"Then kiss me," Emily answered in amusement, her eyes sparkling with playfulness. Spencer was slightly shocked, never knowing Emily to be so bold, but she decided, as she leaned in to meet the girl in another kiss, that she liked it very much._

_Before they could kiss once more, however, two vibrations sounded from both sides of the room. Spencer clenched her jaw and breathed in before scooting a little backwards and looking at Emily, who seemed just as frustrated as she was._

_"I'll look if you do," Spencer said, raising an eyebrow at Emily, who agreed with a sigh and a nod. Both girls reached for their phones and opened up the text they'd both received._

_**Party tonight girls! Scored some invites to a frat party last night. Dress to impress bitches ;***_

_Spencer sighed loudly and put her phone down before looking over at Emily, who was staring back at her. The brunette smiled in defeat and shrugged._

_"I guess we're going to a party tonight."_

"Sean Ackard totally looked at me,"

"Well, yeah, Hanna. People usually do that when you say hi to them very loudly in the middle of a mall." Spencer muttered in a distracted, distant voice.

"Yeah but he was looking at me way before that!"

"Okay, I'm sure he was," Spencer and Hanna had been in the same store for the better part of an hour now, and the brunette was starting to wonder why she had ever agreed to accompanying the blonde in the first place.

Hanna was an intense shopper with really picky taste – despite it being good – so of course, Spencer knew that she probably wouldn't be home for at least two more hours. Usually, she could handle these insane shopping trips with Hanna, since most of the girls – namely Emily – came along, but her feet were aching from her less than satisfactory practice and she was still irritated from her encounter with Alison in the locker room. So, yes, perhaps she was a little on edge, but could anyone really blame her? It had been a rough day, and it would probably be an even rougher night.

"Stop looking at me like that, Spencer," Hanna protested with a frown, crossing her arms over her chest. Spencer looked at her incredulously, with eyebrows scrunched together.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm illusional,"

"_Delusional_," Spencer muttered.

"Whatever, same thing," Hanna said with an eye roll while Spencer's eyebrows still remained scrunched up as she contemplated the girl's words.

"It really isn't."

"Oh, shut up," Spencer smiled at Hanna and sighed. At least she was able to distract herself from the nervous pit that was taking over her stomach.

"So, what did Aria say about the dress?" The brunette asked in an attempt to get her friend's mind off of Sean. Honestly, Hanna's crush was almost as bad as . . . Well, she'd rather not say, for her own sake at least. Hanna sighed and dropped her hands back to her sides.

"She said that it didn't look right for me and that she was coming up to help." Hanna answered, searching through the clothes rack in front of her for something that looked nice.

"She's here?" Spencer asked in surprise, looking at Hanna over the clothes. Hanna nodded as she moved various shirts aside.

"Yup, she was on the first floor with Emily getting a smoothie. She said they were coming right up." Spencer's heart nearly stopped in her chest as her jaw dropped. Had she heard that right?

"E-Emily's here?" Spencer asked, her heart racing in sudden excitement to hear that the girl was even in the same building as she. Hanna looked up and smiled.

"Well, she is now," She responded, looking behind Spencer and waving. Spencer turned and her breath caught in her throat.

Aria and Emily stood at the entrance of the store, presumably searching for them. Emily's hair was up in a ponytail, Spencer noted with a racing heart, and she was wearing her Rosewood Sharks t-shirt with a pair of sweatpants. Anyone else would have thought she looked normal enough, but Spencer's heart was practically thumping out of her chest and her stomach might as well have grown wings from how light it felt because Emily Fields was absolutely the prettiest girl she'd ever seen.

She wiped her hands on her own sweatpants and gulped. God, she felt like a twelve year old boy.

"Over here, guys!" Hanna called out to them, still waving like a maniac to get their attention. Aria finally heard the blonde and smiled, before tapping Emily and pointing in Hanna's direction. But Emily didn't look to Hanna. Instead, her eyes immediately found Spencer's and a warm smile spread across her face. If Spencer wasn't a million percent sure that it was absolutely, physically impossible, she would have melted to the ground at that very moment.

Unfortunately for Spencer, she wasn't as elegant as she usually came off as when she was flustered, which probably explained how she magically managed to bump into a clothing rack and send four tops on to the floor. Out of shock and embarrassment, Spencer blushed furiously and dove down to pick up the fallen clothing, not without noticing Hanna's obvious giggling.

"Geez, Spence, you're worse than me around Sean," At the words, the brunette's heart stopped in her chest at the possible assumption. There was no possible way that Hanna could know about her crush . . . right? Her throat tightened as she tried to swallow. Had Alison already spilled her secret to her friends?

Before she could work herself into a worried frenzy, a soft hand came to rest upon hers and her thoughts faded into nothing. She looked up and her heart melted at the sight of her favorite dimpled grin.

"Hey," Emily said warmly, and Spencer felt her body slowly relaxing, even though her stomach felt like it was practicing for the Olympics.

"Hi," She murmured back, returning the smile. Emily's grin diminished into a shy smile before she ducked her head and reached for a fallen shirt, and Spencer was once again overcome with that crazy desire to just kiss her - until she heard Aria's voice.

"Hey, Spence," The shorter girl greeted her from above. Spencer inhaled and looked up at the girl with a smile.

"Hi, Aria. Come to help out?"

"Well, that's the plan," Aria answered with a smile, looking to the dress Hanna had picked out with a sudden grimace. "And it seems like you need it."

"It's nice," Hanna muttered, hanging the dress reluctantly back on the rack.

"Not for this kind of party. Let's look over here," The raven haired girl pointed further into the shop. Spencer looked over to Emily, who surprisingly cleared her throat before speaking.

"I'm gonna stay up here and see if I can find something," The swimmer said, standing up with some of the clothes that fell to the floor. Spencer bit her lip to keep from smiling and stood up as well with some clothing. Emily looked over to the brunette with a look in her eyes that made Spencer's stomach do summersaults. "Can you help me out, Spence?" Spencer had to mash her lips together to keep from grinning while she nodded.

"Sure," She answered with a nod, trying to come off as normal but failing miserably. Happy Spencer was a horrible actress. Aria raised an eyebrow at the two of them but didn't ask any further questions.

"Okay," The shorter girl said slowly. "We'll be over here if you need us. Come on, Han." Aria turned and began walking towards the back while Hanna looked longingly at the dress she'd picked out before sighing and following her friend. Once they were out of earshot, Spencer turned to Emily and raised both of her eyebrows towards the girl, slightly surprised but mostly impressed. It took all of two second for Emily to burst out laughing and for Spencer to fall in love with the sound all over again.

"Would it be weird to say that I'm proud?" Spencer laughed more than asked, to which Emily responded with a playful eye roll.

"Maybe I really did want to look for something," Emily insisted matter-of-factly, and Spencer's heart fluttered at their silly banter.

"Hmm, like what?" Spencer challenged, smirking and raising an eyebrow once more. The swimmer accepted the challenge happily, walking passed Spencer and making sure their arms touched, relishing in the electricity that shot through her. She wasn't quite sure exactly what had gotten into Emily, but as she turned to stare at the girl search through some clothes, she decided that she liked it.

The brunette watched with amusement as the swimmer rifled through some clothing, until the girl stopped altogether. The devious look that crossed Emily's features sent chills throughout Spencer's body.

"How about these?" Emily asked, pulling out a _very _short jean skirt. Spencer's jaw was nearly scraping the floor.

"I-I don't think that's for you, Em," The brunette answered a little breathlessly, trying to erase the sudden image that her mind had conjured of Emily in that very _very _short skirt.

"Are my legs not pretty enough?" Emily asked with a frown, and it suddenly hit Spencer that this was payback for their little flirtation that morning. The brunette shook her head and smiled. She stepped forward and took the skirt out of the swimmer's hands, making sure their hands brushed.

"Your legs are beautiful, Emily," Spencer answered sincerely, wondering briefly if Emily's heart was beating as fast as hers at their proximity. "But there are better ways to show them off." The swimmer hummed in false contemplation, her smile threatening to break out into a grin.

"And what ways are those?" Emily asked, her voice dripping with flirtatious undertones, to which Spencer couldn't help but laugh.

"Are you flirting with me, Emily Fields?" The brunette asked, biting her lip to keep the grin off her face. Emily looked appalled in every sense of the word, but the playfulness in her eyes gave her away.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Spencer. We're just two friends who are trying to find some clothes to wear to a party, as far as I'm concerned." The swimmer answered, turning away and back towards the clothing in front of them, a small smile playing at the corners of her mouth. And just when Spencer thought she couldn't fall any harder for Emily Fields.

"Yeah, well, I don't think you need any help there," The brunette stated, turning towards the clothes as well and sifting through them. "After all, I'm the one who dresses like a Republican," She murmured, bitterly remembering Alison's words from before.

"Spencer," Emily said warmly, and the brunette could hear the smile in her voice without even looking over. Her heart was fluttering from the girl just saying her name. God, she was so doomed. "You do not dress like a Republican." A pause passed between them before the swimmer added, in a murmur, "I like the way you dress." Spencer thought she was going to explode from how giddy she felt on the inside.

"Thank you," Spencer whispered, a small smile on her face. Her cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling so much. "But I do need to dress differently tonight. It's a party, after all."

"It sure is," Emily muttered, letting out a small sigh. Spencer watched as the girl turned over a shirt without much interest while she bit her lip. "I kind of wish we could stay here. Going to those frat parties sets me on edge."

"You and me both." Spencer hummed in agreement with a smile. "You know, we could stick together for the rest of the night, if you want." Emily laughed a little, causing Spencer to furrow her eyebrows. "What?"

"Spencer, we always stick together at those parties." Emily answered with a smile before a small look of realization came on to her face, something Spencer couldn't explain, and she looked down to the clothes with a blush on her face.

"Well, yeah, I know. What I mean is we could go somewhere away from the party, so we don't get dragged into the drama." The brunette had failed to realize how suggestive her sentence sounded and her eyes widened. Just as she was about to correct herself, however, Emily beat her to it with her own laughter, causing Spencer's insides to go soft.

"Spencer Hastings, are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?" The swimmer asked in playful surprise, her eyes bright and lips formed into a smile.

"N-No! I didn't mean it like that!" Spencer stressed, trying to keep her voice from attracting too much attention. Emily giggled at her flustered crush and shook her head.

"Well, good, because I am not that type of girl," The swimmer stated playfully with a curt nod, and Spencer felt her heart flutter.

"I know," The brunette admitted with a smile, looking down at the pile of clothing in front of her. "That's what I like about you." She glanced out of the corner of her eye at Emily, who was blushing timidly and hiding her smile. Spencer was sure if she could swoon any harder, she'd be on the floor.

Spencer suddenly caught sight of how close their hands were, only inches apart. Her throat tightened as her heart thundered against her chest at the desire to close the distance. She looked up, without moving her head, and looked around briefly, making sure no one was near them. In a bold move, even though she was feeling less than brave and more than nervous, she slipped her hand closer to Emily's until her fingertips touched the other girl's hand.

Surprisingly enough, Spencer wasn't the one to hold her hand – it was Emily. The swimmer had turned her hand over and enveloped the brunette's hand, and Spencer momentarily went weak in the knees. She really hoped her palm wasn't sweaty.

She looked up at Emily, who was watching their hands with a small smile on her face, the same way she had done many times before. Spencer looked back down at their hands and said the first thing that came to her mind – although it wasn't the first time she'd thought of it.

"Do you ever wonder why our hands look so good together?" Spencer murmured, beginning to rub circles on the back of Emily's hand with her thumb, a gesture she had gotten far too used to. Emily's smiled widened, her eyes warm and bright.

"I think I finally figured that out," Emily whispered, taking in a breath just like Spencer had done the night before when she asked to kiss her. She could feel Emily's nerves working against her, so she gave the girl's hand a soft squeeze, causing the swimmer to look up at her. Spencer smiled, encouraging the girl to say what she wanted to. That, and the suspense was killing the brunette. "It's because we're good together. We always have been." Emily answered with a shrug and a smile. Two simple, harmless actions, and yet, at that very moment, Spencer finally knew the answer to the question that haunted her nights and her days for months now, something that terrified and excited her all at the same time. But she wasn't scared anymore, because the answer was yes –

She was definitely falling in love with Emily Fields.

The smile that had worked itself effortlessly on to her face at her more than happy realization had faded slightly when she heard footsteps in the distance. Spencer gave Emily a sheepish smile before reluctantly pulling her hand away. Emily understood immediately, but that didn't stop the small frown from forming on her face at the action.

They really needed to find the time to talk. Being in public was too dangerous for them, and they weren't doing much to lessen the risk – not that Spencer was complaining. Even if they didn't talk, Spencer preferred to be alone with Emily than out and about. At least in private, she wouldn't have to be worried about the possibility of exposing . . . Whatever was happening between them. The last thing she wanted was for Emily to be in the garish spotlight and to be asked questions that neither of them knew the answer to yet. At least if they talked, they'd be able to answer some of their own questions and decide whether or not this was something worth trying for.

Spencer already knew the answer to that one – she just hoped Emily felt the same.

"Did you find anything?" Emily's voice broke Spencer out of her thoughts. She turned and watched Hanna and Aria coming back towards them, Hanna frowning profusely and Aria looking only slightly less disappointed.

"Nothing. We could check another store, though. We still have at least three hours before we have to get ready for the party." Aria suggested optimistically, but all Spencer could do was groan. Her feet ached even more at the thought of walking around another store.

"Do we have to?" Spencer complained, crossing her arms over her chest with a small pout. Hanna matched her pout perfectly.

"Come on, Spence! I really need to find something, and the more help the better. Pleeease?" Hanna pleaded, drawing out the last word dramatically. Spencer felt the guilt creeping to her stomach but the ache in her feet seemed to overcome it at the moment. Until Emily turned to her and pouted too, silently begging her to stay. Could she really say no after that?

"Fine," Spencer agreed reluctantly, letting her arms fall to her sides in defeat. She was so whipped; it almost physically hurt her pride. The pain in her pride faded rather quickly, however, when Hanna and Aria grinned and began walking out of the store, while Emily stood beside her and wrapped her arms around her left arm.

"Come on, Spencer, we have a lot of work to do." Emily said in a somewhat tired voice, before smiling and looked at the brunette. Spencer smiled back against her own will and sighed loudly before shaking her head, causing Emily to look at her in confusion. "What?"

"Nothing really," Spencer said with a smirk, beginning to lead Emily out of the store. Hanna and Aria were farther ahead, and definitely wouldn't be able hear them with the excited buzzing of the mall all around them. "Just wondering why I didn't kiss you sooner." The brunette laughed at Emily's surprised expression and slight blush, but the swimmer quickly recovered and nodded in understanding.

"I've been wondering the same thing myself." Emily answered, matching Spencer's smirk to a tee.

Oh yes, she was definitely falling in love with Emily Fields.

* * *

><p><em>"So you'll text me when you get home?" Spencer asked as she watched Emily shoulder her bag and unlock her front door. The swimmer turned to Spencer with a smile and rolled her eyes.<em>

_"Spencer, I practically live down the street." Emily answered with a playful tilt of her head. Spencer pouted and crossed her arms over her chest. _

_"I can still worry," The brunette muttered, her pout growing. Emily suppressed a laugh and touched Spencer's arm gently._

_"I'll text you as soon as I walk through the door." Emily promised, relishing in the butterflies that fluttered in her stomach when Spencer smiled at her. She had the sudden urge to kiss the girl right then and there, but it seemed that all her nerve ran out as soon as she got out of that bed. Being in Spencer's room felt like an escape from reality, a place where things she'd only ever daydreamed about happened. Leaving that comfort zone brought them right back into the real world, where they definitely couldn't do anything they'd done last night._

_Emily had the distinct, distressed feeling that a talk between them was going to be due soon, and although she knew they both really needed to sort this all out, she didn't want to extinguish the fantasy world she was just getting accustomed too. She hoped that Spencer wasn't ready to give it up, either._

_Reluctantly, Emily turned and opened the front door and stepped outside. She turned around to say goodbye to Spencer one last time, until the girl stepped out as well. She was a little shocked, to say the least, since the girl was in nothing but sleeping shorts and a t-shirt, and she showed just how shocked she was through her facial expressions._

_"What are you doing?" Emily whispered loud enough for Spencer to hear, her eyes darting around to see if anyone was outside. To her great fortune, not a soul was in sight. When she looked back at the brunette in front of her, she barely had time to blink before two hands cupped her face and kissed her softly. Despite the rush that went through her system at their contact, Emily made a noise against Spencer's mouth to make her pull away, which the brunette did, with furrowed eyebrows. She only wished she could swoon less at the sight of that dumb, adorable expression._

_"What?" Spencer asked, still holding her face in her hands. Emily's mouth almost fell open._

_"Spencer! We're out in the open! What do you mean what?" The swimmer protested, her eyes darting anxiously from the houses she could see in her peripheral vision. Spencer smiled and began to laugh, which only confused and upset Emily._

_"Em, I've been out on runs later than this and not one person even bothers to peek through a blind. Trust me when I say that no one is watching us," Spencer soothed with a smile, rubbing a thumb across Emily's cheek. Emily almost hated the fact that she was already calming down. "Besides that, you know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what we have." Emily raised an eyebrow, smiling against her own will._

_"What we have?" Spencer's own smiled widened as she nodded._

_"Yes, what we have, which we can discuss later. Right now, you need to get home." Spencer stated, letting go of Emily's face. The swimmer sighed and nodded, even more reluctant than before to leave._

_"I'll see you tonight." Emily said and Spencer simply nodded with a smile as she crossed her arms over her chest._

_"See you tonight." Just as she was about to turn to leave, Emily leaned in for one more quick peck, which Spencer returned with a smile, before heading down the street and towards her own house. She glanced back a couple of times, not being able to help herself, and was pleasantly surprised to see that Spencer was still watching her every time she looked back, even waving sometimes. _

_Emily smiled to herself, her insides feeling warm, as if her blood had been replaced with honey. She never imagined that anything _–_ anyone _–_ could make her feel this happy. It was dangerous, she knew, being this happy, but she couldn't help it. Spencer made her feel safe, and happy, and above all, loved. She had absolutely no idea what was in store for them, nor did she even know what her sexuality was anymore, but she couldn't find much of a reason to care about that at the moment._

_What she did know was that being with Spencer felt more right and real than anything had in her whole life. And it was at that moment that she, Emily Fields, had finally figured out that she was absolutely, undeniably, falling hard for Spencer Hastings._

* * *

><p><em>AN: :) _


	4. If It Feels Right, It Probably Is

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pretty Little Liars and all characters belong to their respectful owners.**

Summary: After giving up her first kiss to Alison and being horribly rejected, Emily is heartbroken and unsure if she ever wants to kiss anyone ever again . . . until someone changes her mind.

Rating: T

_A/N: Hello! I hope everyone had a wonderful Valentine's Day! And I hope everyone took advantage of the discounts on chocolate after Valentine's Day because it would be a true shame to waste all that chocolate._

_Okay, before we get to the good stuff, here are some notes that you guys should look at before scrolling below:_

_1) I do mention rape below but I did not describe graphic images or anything of the sort. If that is a trigger for anyone reading, I just you to know that the word it is mentioned, not described or depicted.  
>2) There is an OC I threw in here who I probably won't use ever again, but you know, I needed them for this chapter. You'll see why :)<br>3) THERE ARE A LOT OF WORDS BELOW. A LOT. LIKE **A LOT**. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.  
>4) You can blame some of this chapter on the song Jealous by Nick Jonas because I couldn't get it out of my head the entire time. I think you'll know exactly which parts.<br>_

_Aaaaand I think that's it :) It's been a tough month for Spemily, since both of them have suddenly been targeted for new romances that weren't AT ALL asked for. And the sad part is that Johnny and Talia are actually not that bad character-wise, but of course, they would just be romantic plot devices. God forbid anyone new on that show isn't used to give the shippers heart attacks. It would just be too horrible to have an interesting character who isn't put together with one of the girls._

_Sorry, rant over. Anyways, enjoy this chapter :) I actually had to stop writing because it was SO DAMN LONG and I didn't want to bore anyone by putting too much in one chapter. SO next chapter will be the aftermath or this chapter and then,*cue spooky, suspenseful music* the inevitable night that started it alllllll. Okay, enough, I'm done, ENJOY! :)_

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><p>"Of course you wouldn't know where this dumb frat party is, you never know where anything is! Your head is always too far up your ass to even pay attention to addresses."<p>

"Oh my God, shut the hell up before I shove your head up your ass."

"I'm sure it's around here somewhere. You said Broad Street, right?"

"Broad Street's up ahead on the right."

"Oh thank God, my feet are starting to hurt."

The five girls hurried up the street and finally heard a loud bass that practically made the street tremble as they approached the corner. When they did turn, they found a very lit up house with at least a few hundred people littered around and inside of it. Alison smiled brightly and turned to her friends.

"Ready for a party, girls?" She asked, not waiting for an answer before she wrapped her arm around Aria's and began walking once more, Hanna following right after. Spencer rolled her eyes and sighed, a pout forming rapidly on her face. She could think of so many places she'd rather be instead of the party, so many things she'd rather be doing, too. An arm enveloped her right arm and she let herself relax a little before looking over to Emily, her pout still very evident.

"You know, if you keep making that face, it's going to freeze like that," Emily said matter-of-factly, smiling at how adorable Spencer looked.

"Good," Spencer insisted, looking in front of her as she watched her friends' drift closer to the party.

"Not good. You're too pretty to have a frozen frown on your face forever." Emily's smile grew as she watched Spencer begin to smile, but the brunette turned her head away to hide her defeat.

"Ugh," Spencer muttered, shaking her head. "I hate when you do that."

"Do what?"

"Make me smile." The brunette answered, unable to contain her smile as she turned her head back to the girl beside her.

"Well, I like it." Emily countered, smiling back just as brightly, causing Spencer's stomach to flutter. She took in a deep breath to calm and remind herself that she was in a very public area.

"Hey lovebirds, care to join the party?" Both girl's turned at the sound of Alison's voice ahead of them. The girl had her hands on her hips and was waiting for them in the middle of the street with Aria and Hanna on either side of her, except Aria's attention was on the party and Hanna was inspecting her shoes.

"Bitch," Spencer muttered under her breath, staring ahead at Alison with annoyance. In the past, something like that would have probably made Emily snap at Spencer, or she would have at least told Spencer that Alison wasn't that bad. Now, however, she smiled, even giggled a little. Not so much because it was true - though it might have been - but because she found that an annoyed Spencer Hastings was the best entertainment you could find on the planet.

"Come on, Spence. Time to party." Emily said with a smile before dragging the girl along with her towards the deafening music. Once they were close enough, Alison turned around with a roll of her eyes - Spencer was sure she was going to kill her some time tonight - and continued walking, the other girls following close behind.

"You never told us how you found out about this party, Ali," Aria spoke up suddenly, observing the scattered co-eds on the lawn of the house. Alison shrugged and smirked.

"A friend invited me." Spencer scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Who did you have to make out with to get invited to this place?" She asked sarcastically, glancing at Emily out of the corner of her eye. Despite the fact that she was almost sure that Emily had no romantic feelings for the blonde anymore, she was still worried. But the girl's small smile eased those worries for the moment and she allowed herself to breathe. Until Alison turned around and fixed her with a cold glare.

"For your information, I don't need to make out with people to get what I want." The words sounded like they had a double meaning, and Spencer was both angry and slightly intimidated by Alison's words. The blonde turned back around and ignored the brunette, and Spencer was very close to just yanking the girl's hair and throwing her to the ground. "Besides," The blonde continued. "I was invited by someone we both know, Spence." Spencer raised an eyebrow in curiosity and disbelief.

"Really? Who?" Spencer could practically see the smirk Alison probably had on her face as she asked the question.

"You'll see." She should have known she wasn't going to get a straight answer. The brunette rolled her eyes before feeling a small nudge to her side. She looked over at Emily, who was adorning a confused and questioning look. She wondered briefly if she would ever be able to control the butterflies in her stomach when she looked at her crush. However, to answer Emily's silent question, Spencer simply shrugged, truly not knowing who Alison was talking about.

The girls walked up the the walkway of the fraternity, dodging the people the came bustling out of the house and making sure not to step on any empty beer bottles or plastic cups. Alison opened the already partially ajar door and led the girls inside, where the music literally bounced off the walls and made your ears pulse. Spencer winced slightly at the sudden change, but ignored it as best as she could. She watched as Alison grabbed some random guy and whispered something into his ear, before he pointed into another room that looked like the kitchen. Alison turned to her friends with a smile and beckoned them to follow her with a finger. Spencer's stomach turned uncomfortably as she wondered with uncertainty where Alison was leading them.

She glanced over at Emily, just to see how she felt. Emily, in turn, looked back at Spencer and smiled, and although it was just a simple smile, the brunette already felt a lot calmer. She took in a breath and walked forward with Emily, their arms still intertwined.

When they all walked into the kitchen, all the air rushed out of Spencer's lungs as a familiar face came into view. Her mouth fell open as she watched Alison approach a boy with jet black hair, smoothed back, and a gray t-shirt and jeans, who was talking to two other guys near the island in the kitchen. The blonde tapped his shoulder and when he turned, he greeted Alison with a wide smile.

"Hey, you made it!" Spencer heard him exclaim, but she was still in too much shock to even register anything. She also didn't notice Emily looking over at her with a confused expression.

"I told you I would," Alison answered with a smile that almost made her look innocent and friendly. "I hope you don't mind, I brought some friends."

"Are you kidding? At these kind of parties, the more the merrier! Where are they?" Alison pointed over to where the other girls were standing, and the boy immediately caught sight of Spencer. His face broke into an even larger grin as he approached the girls and he started laughing as soon as he was close enough. His glee seemed to be contagious, because now Spencer was smiling as the boy drew closer.

"Spencer Hastings, as I live and breathe," Spencer rolled her eyes at the dramatic greeting, but her smile only seemed to widen. "Last time I saw you, you were still wearing those gigantic glasses that made your eyes bigger than your head." The brunette's smile quickly faded into an embarrassed frown. She didn't quite catch the way the boy looked over at Emily, who was laughing as she watched Spencer.

"Very funny, Josh," Spencer retorted with a smile. "You'd better be careful or I'll tell everyone how much of a dork you used to be," She paused for a beat before smirking. "And probably still are." The boy, Josh, laughed heartily and crossed his arms.

"I missed that Hastings charm." He said with a genuine smile, which Spencer returned. Throughout the exchange, Hanna and Aria had exchanged looks of confusion while Emily had watched with interest, and, thankfully, not jealousy.

She didn't get jealous often - nor did she outwardly show it - but she knew exactly how horrible that burning sensation of helplessness felt. On more than one occasion, Alison had brought out that feeling while she had practically been forced to watch the blonde flirt with some random boy at some random party. However, right now, she wasn't jealous or angry or even annoyed. She was content, because she was still wrapped around Spencer's arm and it didn't feel like the brunette planned on leaving any time soon.

But this Josh guy was looking at the two of them with a weird look, and she wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Uh, hi," Hanna said awkwardly, causing everyone to look at her. She smiled and laughed in embarrassment but continued. "Not to be mean or anything, but who are you?" Josh laughed in response and smiled, putting his hands into his pockets.

"I'm an old friend of Spencer's." He answered with a grin, looking back over to Spencer. The brunette shook her head is disagreement.

"Correction: a friend of Melissa's." Emily laughed lightly at Spencer's response, and watched once more as Josh eyed them with what she could only describe as curiosity. Weird.

She looked passed the boy and watched Alison - she couldn't help it, old habits died hard - as she talked to the boys that Josh left behind. The blonde was laughing and giggling innocently at something one of them had said while she held a red cup of God only knows what against her lips. Emily was pleasantly surprised to find that she wasn't jealous about that either.

Just as she was about to turn back, Alison turned and looked over at them. She wasn't exactly smiling, but she had a strange look in her eye as well. Not like Josh's, but definitely worse. Emily's stomach turned at the sight. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned her attention back to the conversation.

Had she looked a little longer, she would have seen the smirk that graced Alison's lips as she observed the scene.

"Yeah, well, Melissa and I stopped being friends a while ago," Josh answered with a smile, but Spencer could see a the bit of sadness behind it. She smiled back and shrugged.

"Well, you didn't miss much. She's still a bitch." Everyone laughed at that, but the laughter quickly died once Alison put her arms around Josh's arm.

"Having fun without me?" She asked playfully, looking up at Josh with a bright smile. Spencer's smile fell instantly, something Emily noted immediately.

"Just catching up," The boy answered with a smile. "You know, while you were flirting with my friends." Spencer smirked at that.

"I wasn't flirting, we were just talking," Alison insisted, looking back at the two boys that were still looking at her. "They're very good talkers."

"Uh huh." Josh responded, looking over at Spencer and shaking his head. Spencer smiled back at him and shrugged, not realizing how closely Emily was watching their interaction. The swimmer swallowed the lump in her throat and willed the burning in her stomach to go away. _It's nothing, Emily. Don't get worked up over nothing._

Alison turned back around and smiled sweetly at Spencer, who didn't return the gesture.

In fact, her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. She watched as the blonde's eyes dipped to her and Emily's entwined arms and her smile seemed to only grow. Spencer felt a nervous chill run up her spine, but she suppressed the need to shiver.

"Hey Josh, why don't you get us some drinks?" Alison asked sweetly, running her hand up Josh's arm. All the girls zeroed in on the action with wide eyes. Spencer ended up rolling hers. Typical Alison. "And nothing too strong, Hanna goes crazy with vodka."

"That was one time." Hanna muttered ruefully while Aria patted her on the back.

"Um, okay, coming right up." Josh answered and disentangled himself from Alison's grip. The blonde looked back over at Spencer and smiled again.

"You should go with him Spencer. I'm sure he'll need help carrying those cups."

"Oh, uh . . ." Spencer trailed off awkwardly, looking over to Emily. Emily shrugged but smiled nevertheless, causing butterflies to erupt in Spencer's stomach.

"Yeah, come on," Josh urged with a smile, beckoning her to follow him. "We can keep catching up."

"Okay," Spencer answered slowly and a bit reluctantly, but Emily gave her arm a reassuring squeeze that allowed her to relax. The swimmer let go of the brunette's arm and watched as Spencer followed after the boy, but not without glancing back at the Emily with a smile. Her heart swelled as she smiled to herself and watched them disappear into a different room. _See, Em? Nothing to worry about._

"He's cute." Aria commented with a smile, watching as the two disappeared.

"Very." Alison agreed with a smirk, crossing her arms across her chest.

"You think he'll try something with Spencer?" Hanna asked, tilting her head at the spot where the two had been standing.

"Nah," Alison answered, shaking her head. Emily felt a tinge of relief, but then Alison's smirk widened and she knew whatever was coming wasn't going to be pleasant. "But Spencer might try something."

"No, she won't." Emily answered quickly, giving Alison a look. The blonde raised an eyebrow at her and the swimmer recoiled, but only slightly.

"Yeah, I'm with Em on that one, Ali," Aria chirped up, luckily for Emily. "Spencer's not the type."

"We all know Spencer goes after what she wants," Alison stated with a knowing smile as she stared Emily down. Emily's blood ran cold and she swallowed in fear. Did Alison know about her and Spencer?

Alison's smirk widened when the clear look of fear came on to Emily's face before she turned away with a triumphant smile. "And Spencer's had a crush on Josh since the sixth grade. Why shouldn't she try something?" The swimmer could hear her heart pounding as her ears and face burned with the familiar feeling she knew as jealousy.

_She's lying. Don't listen to her._ Emily's thoughts screamed at her, but they didn't stop her body from feeling like it was on fire.

"No way," Hanna added in disbelief, grinning from ear to ear. Emily could barely hear the conversation from how sick she suddenly felt.

"Wow, go Spence!" Aria said with a smile and an approving nod. The swimmer needed to get out of there. The room felt too hot and she felt like she was going to throw up at any minute.

"Hey Em, can I talk to you for a sec?" Alison stated more than asked, and didn't wait for an answer before walking away from Hanna and Aria. Emily took in a deep, calming breath, but it didn't help her in the slightest. She had no idea what else Alison could possibly say to her to hurt her more, but she knew that whatever it was, it wasn't going to ease her at all.

Emily followed Alison until she stopped near a not-so-crowded area and turned abruptly. Before Emily could even ask what was wrong, Alison began speaking.

"I wouldn't hold my heart out for Spencer if I were you, Em." Emily's breath caught in her throat and she felt her hands begin to sweat. _Shit._

"I-I don't - "

"Yeah, yeah, you have no idea what I'm talking about, just like I don't have blue eyes and Aria isn't in love with Noel Kahn." Emily's mouth closed as she faced defeat unwillingly, clenching her jaw as she looked away from the blonde. Her insides felt heavy and she knew she wasn't far from a breakdown, but balled her hands into fists and listened. She couldn't give Alison the pleasure of seeing her cry again. Not when it wasn't over her.

"Like I said," Alison continued, and the image of pouring salt on an open wound flashed in her mind. "Spencer goes after what she wants. And when she figures out what that is," The blonde stepped into Emily's personal space, her voice in a warning tone that wasn't at all sincere. "I wouldn't count on her sticking around with you." Alison didn't wait for a response from Emily before she began walking back towards Hanna and Aria.

Emily felt another lump rise in her throat while her eyes began to ache with what she knew would soon be tears. She took in a shaky breath and tried to calm herself as best as she could.

Part of her, deep, deep down inside, knew that Alison was just talking out of her ass, but Spencer wasn't here to reassure her that it was all a lie. Her whole body burned uncomfortably with jealousy the more and more she thought about Spencer going off with that guy. Her mind began to question Spencer's smiles towards him, her laughs. She looked so comfortable talking to him. She looked so comfortable leaving with him.

Had she already lost Spencer?

_I wouldn't count on her sticking around with you._

Alison was right. Spencer wasn't here. She was with _Josh_.

Emily wiped the stray tear that fell down her cheek quickly and took another deep breath. She needed an escape. Now.

Her eyes immediately caught sight of a table full of assorted alcoholic drinks and red plastic cups. She grabbed a bottle of vodka and poured some of it into a cup. She looked down at the contents of her cup, debating whether or not she could actually do it again, but her heart was in a lot more pain than her head, so without another thought, she downed most of the alcohol.

She coughed a few times, hoping against hope that it wouldn't come back up, but then she felt a warmth pooling in her stomach and she felt more relaxed already. But the pain was still pounding throughout her and she needed to forget. One cup of vodka clearly wasn't going to do it. Not caring very much if anyone saw her, Emily grabbed the bottle and her cup and headed outside. If she was going to drink herself into a stupor, she didn't want to do it in this dumb frat house.

She wanted to be alone.

* * *

><p>"So, how's life kid? Still the best student in school, right?"<p>

"Do you even have to ask?" Josh laughed at Spencer's response and shook his head.

"Good ol' Hastings flair." He answered jokingly, walking over to a cooler and digging around for some drinks. "So, I'm guessing Alison dragged you down here?"

"You've always been a good guesser." Spencer answered with a smile, leaning against a wall as she waited for the boy to pull out some drinks. She hoped it wasn't beer he was looking for. She hated beer.

"So I've been told," Josh stated as he stood up straight once more and pulled out some cans that Spencer' couldn't quite see the label of. They were gray. She grimaced in her head. There we so many gray cans for different drinks. It could literally be anything. "I honestly never thought I'd see you here of all places, but if Ali dragged you down here, I guess you guys must still be pretty close right?"

"Unfortunately," Spencer grumbled, eyeing the cans still in the boy's hands. "Hey, you're not gonna give us any beer right?" Josh's eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

"Spencer, come on." He turned the cans over to reveal the label _Diet Coke_ written across it. Spencer felt relief wash over her. "I'm not about to give a bunch of minors alcohol. You guys can go do that stuff somewhere else." Josh said with a smile before reaching for some plastic cups nearby.

"Trust me, I'm not a fan of 'that stuff'." Spencer defended, putting her hands up for emphasis. Josh nodded in approval as he emptied a can into one of the cups.

"Glad to hear it." He pushed a cup towards Spencer, who took the drink and sipped from it. This was the first time she was mostly enjoying herself at one of these parties. Usually, she'd just try to avoid people and stay close to her friends - to Emily - so they would all be together when the party would inevitably get broken up by the cops. But she felt comfortable enough with Josh to actually enjoy catching up with him. It was nice.

"How's your sister?" Spencer half groaned and half laughed at the question and Josh shook his head in embarrassment.

"Josh, seriously?"

"You knew it was coming, Spence. Just wanted to save you the trouble of being in suspense." Josh had once had a gigantic crush on Melissa when they had still been in high school and Spencer was still in elementary. He'd been a bit - well, more than a bit - of a nerd back then, and Melissa had Ian, so the poor boy never had a chance, until one night where she'd caught them together being a little more than friendly. It seemed that poor Josh had never truly gotten over her Ice Queen of a sister.

"Do you want the truth?" Spencer asked sincerely, swirling her drink in her hand.

"The whole truth, and nothing but it." Josh answered playfully, but Spencer could see that he was preparing himself for disappointment. She smiled sadly and sighed.

"She's still with Ian," She answered truthfully, just like Josh had wanted. "And she uses any opportunity she has to show him off around the house." Spencer watched the boy's face fall slightly before he nodded in acceptance and poured another drink into a cup. "I'm sorry, Josh."

"You've got nothing to be sorry about, Spence." The boy insisted with a smile and a shrug. "It's not your fault."

"Yeah, but I know it's not what you wanted to hear."

"We don't always hear the things we want to hear," Josh answered, still smiling despite the fact that Spencer knew he was more than a little disappointed. "But life goes on." The brunette hummed and nodded, smiling sympathetically before taking a sip of her drink. Josh inhaled before grabbing a cup and talking again. "Well, enough about that. What about you? You got someone special?" Spencer's mouth fell open, unsure of what to say. She laughed awkwardly and put her drink down. Josh didn't need to see anything else before he smirked and started to bother the brunette. "Spencer Hastings, you sly, little charmer, you."

"Stop." Spencer protested, but the blush was already working itself on to her face. Josh's eyebrows shot up and he crossed his arms over his chest.

"And she blushes too! Oh, there's definitely someone." Spencer bit her lip, debating on whether or not she should tell Josh about Emily. She hadn't talked to the boy in at least two years, and he definitely wasn't the same. In fact, he was about a thousand times more attractive than he had been in a few years ago. He'd definitely gained more muscle mass and started using contacts instead of glasses. It surprised her that he was still so hung up on Melissa. He honestly looked like he could have any girl he wanted. She was sure she'd be attracted to him if she weren't already head over heels over Emily.

Part of her wanted to talk to someone about how deep in it she was for the swimmer, though. She loved Aria and Hanna, but she didn't think that they would be able to keep a secret like that away from Alison. Alison already knew, but Spencer would be damned if she caved and actually started talking about it with the icy blonde.

She didn't actually have to tell Josh that it was Emily, anyways. She could just say it was someone. She didn't have to give any details if she didn't want to, it was her life. She wanted to keep the details to herself, anyways. Part of her still felt that if she said too much out loud, everything would just fade away, like most of her dreams.

"Okay," Spencer gave in, taking a deep breath. "There's someone."

"Well, that much I'd already figured out." Josh answered with a smirk, tossing an empty can aside. "So who's this lucky person?"

"That's classified information." Spencer stated, looking away as she tried to calm the blush on her face.

"Ooh, sneaky sneaky. Alright, I'll stop." Josh laughed, gathering all the cups together in preparation to carry them. "Do you like them a lot, at least?" Spencer's mouth opened to respond, but all that came out was a breathy laugh. _Well, if that wasn't the understatement of the century._

"I think I like them more than a lot." She murmured loud enough for the boy to hear. Josh smiled, and placed a hand on his chest.

"Baby Hastings is all grown up."

"Oh God, Josh!" The boy laughed loudly while Spencer shook her head in a grimace. "Don't be such a dork."

"Can't help it. Genetics, you know?" Spencer laughed and rolled her eyes. She took some of the cups that Josh had gathered, and the two began walking back towards her friends. A small silence had passed between them before Josh spoke up again. "Do any of your friends have boyfriends?" Spencer looked over to her friend with wide eyes.

"Josh, you know we're all like sixteen, right?" Josh scoffed and his mouth dropped open.

"I'm not asking because I want to date them! Geez, can't a guy ask a question anymore?"

"Yeah, well, you're maxing out on your question limit." Spencer said with a laugh. "But to answer your question, no. None of them have boyfriends. Not even Alison."

"Don't worry, you didn't have to tell me that." Spencer giggled at the sarcastic response. Another small silence passed before the boy talked once more. "Who's that girl that was next to you?"

"Hanna?"

"No, no. The one holding your arm."

"Oh," Spencer said with a smile she couldn't quite hide. "That's Emily."

"Emily, huh. Are you two close?" Josh asked, trying to gauge Spencer's reaction. The brunette didn't look up at him and began to get a little flustered. He smiled down at the girl beside him.

Just as he'd suspected.

"What gave you that impression?" Spencer asked, trying to seem inconspicuous, not realizing how miserably she was failing.

"Well, she was holding on to your arm. I'm gonna go ahead and assume that girls who aren't that close don't really do that." Spencer laughed before shrugging nonchalantly. She clearly couldn't see how much the boy was enjoying this.

"We're . . . Close." She answered simply, not entirely sure if she wanted to elaborate. Josh hummed beside her and smiled.

"She's pretty." Spencer shot him a look, to which he laughed before defending himself. "Not like that Spencer, geez. It's just an observation." The brunette watched him warily in a playful way before nodding and looking away.

"She is pretty." The brunette agreed, smiling a little. "Good observation."

"Yeah, well, I try." Spencer shook her head and rolled her eyes but still laughed. Josh watched the girl with a smirk before nodding to himself.

Exactly as he'd suspected.

It took a bit more of dodging and weaving between drunken bodies but they finally reached the spot they had left the girls only to find that they were one short. Emily was missing.

"About time," Alison called out to them as they approached. Spencer glanced around the room, trying to get a glimpse of her, only to be disappointed when she couldn't find her. There were too many people.

"Yeah, sorry about that. Had to convince Spencer not to do any shots." Josh joked, and the girls around him laughed. Spencer smiled slightly, but her worries were getting the best of her. Where was Emily?

"So, what did you bring us?" Alison asked with a smile, taking one of the drinks from Josh. "A little soda with something extra?" The blonde took a sip, expecting to taste alcohol but being unpleasantly surprised.

"More like just soda." Josh answered with a smile. "Hope you don't mind girls." Aria and Hanna both shook their heads with smiles and took their respective drinks. Josh was left with an extra drink in his hand and looked around, mimicking Spencer's movements. "Looks like you're one friend short."

"Yeah, where's Emily?" Spencer asked immediately after Josh finished talking, her voice not doing her the justice of hiding her worries.

"She went to the bathroom." Alison answered with a shrug, taking a sip of her drink.

"Yeah, with a bottle of vodka." Hanna added in, swirling her drink in her hand. "Is this diet?"

"Yes."

"Wait, Hanna, what?" Spencer blurted out, her eyes wide with confusion.

"Well, we saw her over there," Hanna pointed to a table with assorted alcoholic drinks. "And she took a bottle of vodka and a cup and she left."

"God Hanna, could you have a bigger mouth?" Alison snapped at the other blonde, who recoiled immediately and sipped her drink.

"Leave her alone, Alison," Spencer stated, giving Alison a glare. The icy blonde rolled her eyes and took another sip of her drink. The brunette looked back over to Hanna, hoping the girl would speak again. "How do you know she went to the bathroom?" Hanna looked down, hesitant to answer, but not needing to when the other blonde spoke up.

"Because I told them," Alison intervened, raising an eyebrow at Spencer. "Are you done playing twenty questions?" Spencer looked at the blonde with furrowed eyebrows before something connected in her brain and she realized that Alison had probably said something to Emily to make her leave. She laughed in disbelief.

"You're unbelievable," Spencer said, shaking her head and sighing. She looked over to the boy beside her, who'd been watching the exchange with both curiosity and confusion. "Josh, I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll see you later." With that, the brunette pushed through the crowds of people and began her search for her crush. Josh watched her leave and shook his head.

He was so glad to be out of high school.

* * *

><p>It had taken Spencer about half an hour to find Emily. She'd searched upstairs first, hoping that Hanna was right and her crush was in the bathroom, but all she found were two girls smoking and on their phones. The brunette was desperate enough to even ask them if they had seen the swimmer, but they hadn't, to her great misfortune.<p>

One room down, the entire house left to go.

Spencer reluctantly knocked on every upstairs bedroom door and waited for responses. Part of her hoped that Emily was in one of the rooms, drinking alone on a bed or something, but most of her hoped that she wasn't anywhere near any bedroom.

She wasn't stupid - she read the news articles about girls getting raped all the time at these kinds of parties. Spencer wasn't sure what she'd do if she found Emily in that position, but she did know that she was very capable of murder, given the right circumstance.

Spencer didn't even bother knocking on the last door before she threw it open. Her throat closed as she saw the back of a girl's head while a guy sloppily made out with the front. The room was dimly lit, so she couldn't see much, except for one thing. Dark hair. Just like Emily's. The brunette felt her insides tighten and bile begin to rise from her stomach.

The guy seemed to realize that there was an audience and he pulled away from the girl he was practically devouring.

"Hey, this room's occupied," He stated loudly, and the brunette could clearly tell he was drunk but the brunette was too focused on the girl, whose head was starting to turn. The girl's head turned to reveal someone Spencer had never even met before, and the brunette's knees nearly buckled. The wave of relief that washed over the brunette was so large that she actually let out a breath. She was a little light headed after that, but she managed to mutter a small 'Sorry' before exiting the room. She fell back against the closed door and closed her eyes to gather herself.

She needed to find Emily before she went into cardiac arrest, or worse, before something happened to Emily. She couldn't bear the thought, and she wouldn't. She took in a deep breath and opened her eyes. She bounded down the stairs and headed straight for the door, hoping that Emily was somewhere outside with the rest of the party goers.

She searched through the small groups of people and looked around the scattered ones but still came up empty. She headed towards the back of the house, where there were a lot less people, and still had no luck. She was starting to feel a cold, nervous sweat behind her neck and she could feel her heart thumping uncontrollably against her chest. She couldn't lose hope; Emily was here _somewhere _and she was going to find her.

Just as she turned around to look for the back door of the fraternity, she caught sight of someone sitting by themselves on a porch swing far from the house. She recognized the capris and the light pink top immediately. Her face broke out into a relieved smile and her body felt tired from how overworked it had been in such a short amount of time. Without another thought, she willingly walked over to the swing and to the girl that had quite literally driven her crazy.

"There you are," Spencer called out with a smile on her face as she approached the old porch swing away from the party, trying not to show how distressed she had just been. Honestly, who would put a porch swing so far away from a house? "I've been looking everywhere for you." As she got closer, the brunette realized that Emily wasn't alone. A red, plastic cup was keeping her company, and she could see a half empty bottle leaning beside the swing. Spencer felt a wave of uneasiness come over her as she came to a stop in front of her crush. So Emily had been drinking.

"Well, you found me." Emily answered sarcastically, taking a sip of whatever was left inside the cup. A pit of discomfort settled in Spencer's stomach as she watched the swimmer drink. She'd only ever seen Emily drunk once before, and that was because she'd been watching Alison flirt and make out with some guy. The brunette's stomach turned at the possibility that the same thing had happened, and that maybe Emily wasn't over Alison at all.

Spencer let out a small breath and sat beside her friend. Silence passed as she watched Emily take more sips, and the brunette felt her palms sweat. She had no idea what to say, so she let the first thing that came to her mind spill from her lips.

"You didn't actually drink something from here, did you? This stuff probably has more alcohol concentration than . . . Rubbing alcohol." Spencer stated, and Emily scoffed in response and stared into her cup. She was avoiding eye contact, the brunette realized. But why?

"So what if I did?" Emily snapped, tipping her head back as she downed the remains of whatever was left in the cup. Spencer's eyebrows shot up in surprise and she tried not to be hurt by the swimmer's tone. She watched Emily throw the cup aside to join millions of other discarded cups and swallowed the lump in her throat.

"What's up with you?" The brunette's voice was full of concern, not that Emily would have been able to pick up on it. The swimmer crossed her arms and smiled sarcastically. Spencer almost winced. She'd never seen Emily look more like Alison than in that instant.

"Nothing's wrong with me," The swimmer practically spat, her tone harsh. "Why don't you go back to your boyfriend. I'm sure he misses you."

"WHAT?" Spencer was so shocked that she actually leaned away from Emily to get a better look at her friend. Boyfriend? "What boyfriend, Em? Are you insane?" Spencer asked, laughing a little in disbelief. Now Emily was just being ridiculous.

"Yeah, I must be," Emily answered bitterly, her voice cracking slightly. "I actually thought that whatever was going on between us was real." Spencer's stomach dropped at the words and she immediately reached out to touch Emily's arm.

"Em - "

"Don't," Emily protested, quickly shrugging off the hand on her arm. She'd finally looked over at the brunette, and what Spencer saw almost broke her heart. "Just don't." Emily had the same look on her face as she did the last time she'd gotten drunk. She looked heart broken and angry and depressed, but the only difference was that this time, it was Spencer's fault. The brunette should have been happy, but all she could feel was an unbelievable amount of guilt.

She had to fix this. She'd done something wrong, and she was going to make it better.

"Come on," Spencer said, taking a deep breath and wrapping an arm around Emily's arm. Emily tried to pull her arm away, but Spencer was sober and a lot stronger at the moment. "Em, get up, come on."

"No," Emily snapped, trying and failing to pull her arm back. "Spencer, stop."

"We're leaving, come on." Spencer dragged Emily out of her seat, and the girl stumbled into her arms. Once she got her footing, however, the swimmer quickly pushed out of her arms and sought leverage on one of the porch swing's bars.

"We can't leave," Emily stated obviously. "We came here by taxi, and I didn't bring any money. And you probably didn't bring, either." Spencer crossed her arms and looked around the backyard. An idea quickly came to her and she shrugged.

"I know someone who'll give us a ride." Emily scoffed at her response.

"Who, _Josh?_" She asked bitterly, looking anywhere but at Spencer. Spencer huffed angrily and uncrossed her arms.

"Emily, there is nothing between me and Josh." The brunette stated clearly, but all Emily did was laugh.

"Whatever," The swimmer murmured, looking at the floor with annoyance. Spencer sighed in defeat and looked back around. The house was only a few feet away. She just hoped that she would be able to find Josh before Emily started throwing up or even worse, snarking at her more. She grabbed Emily's arm again, but the swimmer put up a fight, holding on to the porch swing with whatever strength she had left. The brunette let go and threw her arms up in defeat.

"Emily, please," Spencer pleaded in desperation, not knowing what else to do. "Can you please just come with me so I can get us a ride home? Please?" Emily looked at Spencer, her eyes half lidded and still very much bitter, but her alcohol couldn't disguise her soft spot for Spencer. Reluctantly, and clumsily, she let go of the bar and sighed. The brunette smiled a little and reached for her arm, but Emily stopped her quickly.

"I can walk fine by myself," She slurred a little, and as soon as she tried to walk forward, she tripped over the vodka bottle that she'd planted on the ground beside her. Spencer caught her once more, and Emily lingered helplessly in the girl's arms, her feelings betraying her once more.

"No, I don't think you can." Emily straightened herself and glared at Spencer but nevertheless let the brunette hold her arm and lead her towards the house. Spencer tried her hardest not to smile.

The house was still very much crowded and the music was still blaring out of speakers that Spencer couldn't find, but she didn't care. She needed to find Josh. She walked slowly so that she could get a good look around and find her friend, but it was mostly so Emily didn't lose her footing or get too dizzy.

She went back to the same place that they had been in when they arrived at the party. She was more than relieved to find Josh there, sitting on the counter and talking to a larger group of people. Spencer looked around a bit more, but couldn't spot Aria or Hanna. Or Alison.

She was mostly glad she didn't find Alison. She probably would have strangled the girl on the spot if she had found her.

Spencer walked Emily over to an empty chair awkwardly placed near a wall and helped the girl sit down.

"Em, I'm going to be right back, okay?" She said loud enough for the girl to hear, bending down so she could see her friend's face. "Promise me you'll stay right here?" Emily didn't respond, just crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. Spencer let out a flustered breath and placed her hand on her crush's arm. "Em, promise me. Please?"

Emily looked down at the brunette and already felt her head nodding helplessly. Spencer reached up to cup her cheek, and Emily hated that she melted into the brunette's touch, automatically closing her eyes. Spencer was gone a second later, leaving Emily to stare bitterly at the ground and grumble about how stupid she was to herself.

Spencer rushed into the kitchen and hadn't even gone all the way around the island before she called out for her friend. Josh looked up immediately and jumped off his seat on the counter. He met her halfway, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Everything alright, Spence?" He asked, picking up quickly on the girl's distress.

"Is your car here?" Spencer asked quickly, ignoring his question. If she had time, she would explain it to him later. Right now was not the time for storytelling.

"Um, yeah, it's out front. Why?"

"I need you to take my friend and I home. Can you do that?" Spencer asked, glancing back nervously at the spot she had left Emily. The swimmer was still there, staring at the ground drunkenly. The brunette was filled with only a little bit of relief.

"Sure, but is everything okay?" Josh asked once more, actually worried for the girl. He was no stranger to the types of things that arose from these parties. He hoped the girl he'd come to see as a younger sister hadn't been caught up in one of them.

"It will be once I get home. I'll explain everything when we get to my house." Josh nodded and followed after the flustered brunette. They came to a stop in front of Emily, who looked up and gave Josh a cold look. Josh moved his head back a little, not entirely sure why the girl was looking at him like he'd kicked a puppy.

"Come on, Em, we're going home." Spencer said softly, helping the girl up. Josh watched the scene with a small smile on his face, but then Emily shot him another look and his smile immediately dropped. Had he done something? "Okay, Josh, lead the way." Spencer said, and Emily scoffed immediately after.

Okay, clearly, he had done something.

The boy led the girls outside and a little down the block to a gray 2009 Honda Civic that looked to be in perfect condition. Emily laughed out loud.

"He even has a perfect car." She said with a laugh, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Em, stop." Spencer shushed, sending an apologetic look at Josh. Josh smiled in understanding and simply unlocked his car before making his way to the driver's side. Spencer opened the door and helped Emily inside. "Scoot over, Em."

"What for? Aren't you sitting on the passenger's side with _Josh_?" Emily asked sarcastically, bitterly spitting out the boy's name. Spencer sighed and shook her head.

"No, Emily, I'm sitting back here with you." By now, Josh had started the car and pretended to tune out the conversation, but was listening intently as he fastened his seatbelt.

"Why?" The swimmer asked, crossing her arms and purposely being difficult.

"Because I want to be with you back here. I'll write you an essay on why later if you want, but can you please just move over so we can get out of here?" Spencer's voice was becoming desperate again, but all she wanted was for Emily to see that she didn't want to be with Josh or any other boy. She just wanted to be with Emily, and she was getting frustrated that the girl was so adamant on believing otherwise.

Emily was a little surprised by the words, but eventually relented and moved over so that Spencer could slide in next to her. Spencer sat down and scooted closer to Emily to shut the door, and their legs touched because of that.

Spencer was wearing a summer dress that reached her knees, with horizontal stripes of white and blue on it, leaving her legs bare. Since Emily was wearing capris, her eyes focused in on where their bare legs touched. Her drunken mind wasn't allowing her to be subtle at all, and when Spencer turned around and saw what the girl was looking at, she pretended not to notice. She did, however, smile a little to herself and actually enjoy the moment while it lasted.

"All buckled up?" Josh asked, getting ready to put his car into drive. Spencer sighed and buckled her seatbelt, and watched as Emily did the same. Her crush, however, struggled to clip the belt into the buckle, and she smiled a little, despite the circumstance.

She reached over and guided Emily's hand, guiltily enjoying the electricity that shot through her veins when she touched the girl. Emily looked up at the brunette, the girl's hands still on hers, before she pulled away and looked forward.

"I could have buckled my own seatbelt." Spencer didn't answer, only sighed and told Josh that they were ready.

The ride was silent for the most part. Josh put on some music, but not a lot of radio stations were playing music. Most were just radio talk shows and callers talking to radio hosts about their life. It was, after all, almost 11:30.

Spencer had watched Emily out of the corner of her eye for most of the ride, still trying to process how the swimmer could have ever believed that she was going after Josh. The girl had practically told her that she should go help him. Everything was fine when she left. Everything looked fine . . .

This was Alison's fault. Whatever had happened, Spencer knew that she was the cause of it. She could practically see it on the blonde's face when she had talked to her at the party. Alison had said something to Emily to get her to drink, and despite the fact that she wanted to know what that was, now wasn't the time. She had to get her drunk best friend safely to her house and into bed to sleep off this disastrous night. Everything else could be dealt with once Emily was sober.

Thankfully enough for Spencer, Josh remembered how to get to her house without her having to tell him. Pretty soon, he was driving up Spencer's block and parking in front of her house.

"We're here, Em." Spencer told Emily, who looked as if she was beginning to doze off. Emily rubbed her face and nodded, clumsily unbuckling her belt and opening her car door. Spencer unbuckled her seatbelt quickly and opened her door, racing to meet Emily on the other side. Josh opened his door and watched as Spencer opened the door for Emily to get out. He stayed in his spot, not wanting to disturb the scene in front of him, but ready to move if he was needed. Part of him knew however, as he watched Spencer walk closely behind Emily, that he probably wouldn't be needed.

Spencer opened her side door quickly and grabbed Emily's hand to lead her to the couch. Emily sat down, her eyes half lidded, and leaned back into the couch. The brunette ignored the butterflies that fluttered to life in her stomach at the sight and went back towards the door. Now was not the time for butterflies.

"I'll be right back, okay? Just don't fall asleep."

"Going to kiss your boyfriend goodnight?" It seemed the exhaustion hadn't taken the snark out of Emily. Spencer sighed, feeling like she was at a complete loss. _Tomorrow, Spencer. Everything will be better tomorrow._

Spencer left the living room and closed the door behind her before she rushed over to where Josh was standing beside his car.

"Thank you so much for this, Josh." Spencer thanked with a smile. "You have no idea how grateful I am."

"No worries, kid." Josh insisted, holding his hand up. "I was glad to help. Drunk girls roaming around parties like that aren't good." The emotions Spencer had felt when she was searching through the bedrooms flashed through her and she swallowed uncomfortably, nodding in agreement. She let out a breath and smiled at the boy.

"So, I'll see you when I see you then. Should I tell Melissa you stopped by?"

"No," Josh said with a laugh, shaking his head. "I think it's better if you didn't." Spencer nodded and was about to say her final goodbyes to the boy when he asked another question. "It's her, isn't it?" He inquired with a small smile, playing with the keys in his hand.

"I'm sorry?" Spencer asked, her eyebrows furrowing, not understanding the question.

"Your someone," Josh cleared up, his smile growing. Spencer felt her stomach bottom out at the clarification. "She's your someone, isn't she?"

"No," Spencer answered quickly, laughing and shaking her head. Josh raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Of course not, we're just friends."

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." The brunette rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She looked down at the ground, unable to look up at the boy who'd figured out her deepest secret in one night.

"Is it that obvious?" She whispered, sighing afterwards. Josh smiled sympathetically and half shrugged.

"Maybe not to everyone else, but like you said, I'm a good guesser." Spencer nodded, not sure of what to say to that. Was there even a proper response to someone guessing your crush? Josh tilted his head a little, clearly not done speaking. The brunette was starting to realize that he was never quite done speaking. "I saw the way she was looking at you." Spencer's head shot up at that, making Josh smile even wider. She cleared her throat nonchalantly and looked away once more.

"How was she looking at me?" The brunette asked, sounding smaller than Josh had ever heard her. He realized then just how bad the younger girl really had it. He smiled at the thought before answering.

"The same way you were looking at her." Spencer rolled her eyes, feeling her face growing hot. She really was that obvious.

"Gee, that's helpful." Josh chuckled at the statement and crossed his arms over her chest.

"Look, I know I'm not exactly an expert on love here," Spencer smiled a little at that. "But I've seen that look before, Spence. I recognize it from the mirror." Josh's smile widened when Spencer let out a laugh. A small silence passed before he continued. "Don't let that slip between your fingertips. If it feels right, it probably is. Screw anyone who doesn't think so." Spencer looked down, her eyes stinging with tears. Perhaps it was good that Josh knew about her and Emily. She definitely needed to hear that after tonight.

"Thank you, Josh." She whispered, looking up to her friend with a smile. Josh smiled brightly at the younger girl and nodded.

"Personally, I think you two look good together." Spencer laughed gleefully, wiping a little at her eyes.

"Yeah, I think so too." Josh engulfed the brunette into a hug, which Spencer returned wholeheartedly. When he pulled away, the boy smiled down at her and gave the brunette one more pat on the shoulder before speaking.

"I'll see you, kid." He said with a smile before separating himself from her completely and going back to the driver's side of his car. Spencer sighed, smiling and shaking her head. A thought came to mind, and before she could stop herself, it was already leaving her lips.

"Melissa doesn't deserve you, Josh," Spencer admitted truthfully, watching as the boy looked up after he opened his door. "She probably never will." Josh put his hand on top of the hood of his car and smiled.

"Maybe that's true, but that doesn't stop me from wanting her." The boy answered with a shrug. Spencer smiled sadly and nodded, not sure of what else to say, but hoping that Josh would one day move on from his sister and find a girl who could really love him. "Goodnight, Spencer." Was the boy's last goodbye before he got into his car. Spencer simply waved at him as he drove off and sighed. She turned around to face her house and smiled a little to herself.

_If it feels right, it probably is_. Her smile grew as she began walking back to her house, where she knew she would be greeted by her bitter, drunk friend. Despite the fact that the brunette knew what she was in for, it didn't really seem to matter. It was Emily, after all. She'd pluck the stars right out of the sky for the girl if she asked her to.

God, she needed to stop reading poetry.

Spencer opened the side door of the house and was greeted by the sight of Emily, with her arms crossed over her chest and staring at the coffee table. The brunette almost laughed at how adorable the scene was, but she had a feeling that Emily wouldn't appreciate that at the moment. Spencer closed the door behind her, causing the swimmer to finally look up at her.

"Must have been some goodnight kiss." Emily muttered bitterly, looking back down at the table. Spencer let out a breath and walked over to her friend.

"There was no kiss." Spencer said in a sigh as she sat down beside Emily. "But you probably don't believe that."

"Well, you are the smart one." Emily answered sarcastically, leaning back against the couch. She sat up suddenly, a sudden look of determination on her face that confused Spencer. "I just want to know why you thought it was okay to lead me on. The honest truth." Spencer whipped around to stare at Emily, giving her a sincere look she hoped the girl would register.

"I wasn't leading you on." Spencer whispered truthfully, unable to disguise the hurt in her voice at Emily's assumption. Emily smiled ruefully at the brunette.

"Really? Because it felt like you were. You know, between the laughing and the kissing and all those words - "

"I meant all of it, Emily," Spencer had now turned her body to completely face the girl and grabbed her hand out of habit, trying to convince her. "And I still do." Emily pulled her hand away, and Spencer felt her insides crumble a little. How was she going to fix this? It was starting to feel hopeless.

"Well, if you meant all of it then why did you spend so much time with _him_ at the party?" Spencer laughed and shook her head. She felt as if she'd stepped into the Twilight Zone.

"Emily, I spent _five_ minutes getting drinks for you and the other girls and then spent _thirty_ minutes looking for _you_." Spencer emphasized loudly, hoping that Emily would finally believe her instead of bump heads with her. "And I was going crazy looking for you, might I mention. At some point, I even thought . . ."

Spencer cut her rambling short, willing those feelings to go down once more. She hadn't realized she looked down at her hands until she looked back up at Emily, who was staring at her with what looked to be shock. She smiled a little in relief. The swimmer looked like she was finally coming around.

"I didn't know that." Emily murmured, looking down at her hands. Her mind was still very foggy, and her emotions still felt very bruised, but realization was starting to come the more sober she became. But the more sober she became, the more confused she felt, to the point where she didn't know what she was supposed to feel: Upset because her mind had worked her into a jealous frenzy, or happy because Spencer seemed to be proving all her jealous thoughts wrong.

"Yeah, I know." Spencer answered quietly, causing Emily to look up at the brunette. She found a small smile on the girl's face, despite the crap that the swimmer had just put her through. Her stomach came to life at the sight and hated the fact that she missed the swirling feeling.

Her head suddenly pounded painfully from over thinking the situation and closed her eyes with a groan, reaching up to touch her head. Spencer frowned a little at her crush's obvious pain and grabbed the hand that wasn't occupied, causing Emily to open her eyes.

"Come on, let's get you upstairs." She said with a smile, carefully helping Emily off the couch. Emily's thoughts were starting to become clearer the less she thought about her jealousy and a sudden, blaring reminder came into her head and she stopped Spencer from walking.

"What about my mom?" She asked, trying not to slur her words. Her mouth suddenly felt very heavy and dry. Spencer smiled and shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. I'll send a text from your phone saying you're with me." Emily nodded in understanding and allowed herself to be lead up the stairs to Spencer's bedroom. More thoughts started popping into her mind, and her mental filter wasn't nearly as strong as it usually was when she was sober, so all her thoughts started coming right out of her mouth.

"I don't have a change of clothes." Emily admitted as she tried to stand up straight in one spot while Spencer rummaged for clothing. Spencer smiled to herself as she pulled out two pairs of pajama bottoms.

"Em, we've been friends for years and have had countless sleepovers. You don't think I've kept the clothes you leave here for these situations?" The brunette put down the pajama bottoms on the bed and looked for some t-shirts in another drawer. "Besides, we're the same height, give or take. You could always wear my stuff."

"What about your parents? I mean, won't they think it's weird I'm sleeping over again?" Emily crossed her arms over her chest, stumbling slightly but regaining her balance. Spencer watched her, making sure she was okay, before smiling and shaking her head with a confused look.

"My parents love you, Emily. They think you're the most, and I quote, 'well-mannered and respectable' of all my friends." The brunette answered, her smile growing when she watched Emily look down and hide her own smile.

"And," She continued, placing two shirts on the bed beside the pajamas. "They're out of town with Melissa and Ian. Something about some show in New York or something." The brunette finished with a shrug, grabbing one of the shirts and one of the pajamas and walking over to Emily. "Now, you can go into the bathroom and change and I'll be back with some water. Okay?" The swimmer looked down at the clothing and nodded her consent.

"Okay." She murmured, taking the clothing from Spencer's hands and relishing in the feeling that raced through her body when their hands touched. She smiled at the brunette a little before leaving the room and going to the bathroom to change.

Once she got into the bathroom, Emily was overcome with a nervous feeling suddenly. It felt like the night before all over again, but this time, she barely had control over her actions. _Well, I barely had control over my actions last night, too._ She rolled her eyes at her thoughts and shook her head, putting her clothing down beside the sink. It was ridiculous to even feel this way. She was drunk and nothing was going to happen . . . Right?

She had to calm down. It was just Spencer. She woke up beside her that morning perfectly fine. _Well, not perfectly. It was actually pretty embarrassing and - Oh God, Emily, stop! Just get dressed and stop being an idiot._ She looked up into the mirror and nodded to herself before wincing at how horrible she looked.

The little bit of eyeliner and mascara she'd put on had smudged. She couldn't remember crying during the evening, but it looked as if she might have shed a few tears.

Emily quickly turned on the faucet and washed her face of the makeup. She dried her face quickly with a towel and let out a sigh when she looked back into the mirror. She smiled to herself and nodded. She felt better already.

Clumsily, she began to undress herself, grabbing on to the sink many times so she didn't fall. She finally got her party clothes off and reached for her pajamas and threw them on. She looked back into the mirror and held her hair back to put it into a ponytail, but realized that she must've lost her hair tie at the party. She huffed and sighed, staring back into the mirror with a frown. _Fine, I'll just go on without one._

She reached for the toothbrush that Spencer kept for her whenever she slept over and began brushing her teeth thoroughly. She didn't want Spencer to sleep next to someone who smelled like a brewery. She was also careful not to brush back too far in fear of vomiting, which she probably would do if she wasn't careful. She washed out her mouth and put her toothbrush back before looking at herself once more in the mirror. She smiled and nodded to herself again before heading to the door.

Emily's happiness was cut short when she opened the door a little too quickly for her own reflexes and successfully banged her head on it while it was opening. She yelped in shock and grabbed her forehead, rubbing the injured spot and huffing angrily. _Of course._ She blinked away the tears of surprise that sprung up and cleared her throat before walking back to Spencer's bedroom.

When she walked in, she found Spencer, with her back turned towards the door, and shirtless. Without a bra. Emily's eyes widened, but she was scared to make herself known and have the brunette turn around and -

_Oh God, Emily, now is not the time to imagine that._

Emily waited with owlish eyes for the brunette to put on her t-shirt before she made any sudden movements. The brunette eventually turned around and a look of surprise came on her face when she saw the swimmer standing there.

"How long have you been standing there?" Spencer asked, her mouth forming a small smile when Emily's mouth opened and closed a few times.

"I-I just got here." Emily lied, mentally berating herself for faltering. Spencer smirked and moved the blanket back on her bed with a nod. Emily felt her insides burn up at the look on Spencer's face and she thought she was either going to be very sick or very lucky. Spencer looked up again at the girl and her eyebrows furrowed when she took a second look.

"Why is your forehead red?" The brunette asked in confusion, going around the bed and towards Emily to observe the red, blaring mark on the girl's head. Emily covered the spot immediately, and winced at the pain that the pressure caused.

"It's nothing, just bumped my head." She excused quickly, her breath catching when Spencer was face to face with her. The brunette removed Emily's hand slowly and observed the spot, her face contorting into a small wince at the sight. Emily couldn't tell what her brain was foggy from anymore - the alcohol, the head bump, or Spencer's touch and proximity.

"Do you want some ice?" Spencer asked, her voice full of concern. The fluttering in Emily's stomach increased dramatically, to the point where she felt a little dizzy.

"No," She squeaked quietly, her heart thumping against her chest the closer Spencer got to her face. Spencer's eyes finally met hers and Emily was sure she was probably going to collapse if the brunette didn't move away. "I'm fine." She added, willing her eyes not to look down at Spencer's lips. They did anyways, much to her dismay, and when she looked up, she found Spencer looking at her with a small smirk on her face. Oh God, she was in so much trouble.

"Okay." Spencer said quietly, letting go of Emily's hand, which the swimmer was hyperaware that she was holding. She backed away and went around the bed once more, and Emily went to her side of the bed and sat down, finally able to breathe normally again. She took a second to gather herself and spotted a glass of water and a bottle of Advil on the nightstand near her.

"I don't have a headache." Emily stated, looking behind her at the brunette who was getting into bed. Spencer smiled as she adjusted her position to look over at Emily, resting her head in her hand.

"It's not for right now." Spencer responded, her smile growing when Emily groaned at the realization of how big her hangover was going to be tomorrow. She pushed the covers aside and got into to bed, adjusting her position to comfortably look at Spencer. The brunette turned over and shut off the lamp on her bedside table, before turning over and waiting for her eyes to adjust to the darkness as she stared at Emily.

Both girls stared at each other in silence, their thoughts racing but neither wanting to speak. Spencer was mostly glad that Emily had started sobering up, despite still being clumsy. There was going to be a lot they needed to talk about tomorrow, to add to the load they already needed to talk about in regards to their relationship. She smiled softly at the girl in front of her, who smiled back immediately, and was overcome with a huge wave of relief - that seemed to be something happening a lot tonight.

_If it feels right, it probably is._

Spencer couldn't think of one thing that felt more right than being with Emily.

"Come here." She murmured quietly, reaching out to Emily with her hand. The swimmer found her hand underneath the covers and allowed herself to be pulled until she was flush against Spencer's chest. Between the hand running through her, probably messy, hair and the rhythmic heartbeat against her ear, Emily was quickly drifting off, her body far more exhausted than she thought it had been. Spencer kissed the top of her head softly and closed her eyes, letting herself drift off with a final thought.

_Personally, I think you two look good together. _She smiled tiredly to herself.

She couldn't agree more.

* * *

><p><em>AN: :)!_


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